I feel like I am writing my blog more than I am writing my dissertation. Okay, not quite, I already hit 9 thousand words (suppose to be no more than 10 thousand) in my dissertation but what if it is all crap and then, I am much more eager to write my blog… Now I am in the stage of processing all I have written… like making connections between bits that seems awkward when combined in a chapter. Still, I feel like so much more I need to put in, but where? I only have 1000 more words to left, if I exceed, they panalize… then all this seems so irrelevant. Today I spent the whole morning searching for one sentences that got stuck into my mind in all these books and articles I have read… I only began concentrating after 2:30 pm. Then I had to peek at one of the Turkish newspapers on line and it had very sad, disturbing story about a young woman. I got so sad about it. Her employer tortured her for a month because she was dating guys and going out too much. It is horrible what he had done to her and also her family apparently helped him in this process! After reading about it I began questioning what is the point of this life; she is suffering there and my concern is to write this dissertation which is just fake given that it is anthropology, and it is suppose to be based on your fieldwork but we are writing it based on library material and then my other concern is practicing ashtanga and to make sure I can practice ashtanga forever… All these seemed so self-indulgent suddenly… really how is this world constructed? Who decides who will get what? I guess this all relates to
Tiff’s recent posts…
Okay, I should at least end this blog in a positive tone. My teacher asked me to help her with adjustments twice a week this month, so one more day, which makes sense if I will learn how to adjust. So, twice a week, I go to studio before anyone else, before 6 in the morning, to finish my practice by 7:30 and then I help with adjustment for an hour… Yes I enjoy it very much. And one more time I am reminded to appreciate all I have instead of worrying over stupid things!
I thank for my life, not quite sure to whom but I do...
1 comment:
Very introspective thoughts...I think it's okay that we have a bit of self-indulgence. You demonstrate your maturity and intuition by recognizing the potential for us to be so absorbed in ourselves. That's awful what that employer did...hey and it's okay if you end a blog on a sad note, I do it all the time.
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