Friday, October 16, 2009

A Week

So, I practice with Peter and his group of students for a week. Nice group of people, very peaceful energy, and Peter’s presence as a teacher is also very good. It was good for me to begin practicing with others again. I see that I get nervous practicing with others after such long time of alone practice; I realize this mostly during standing postures, it takes me much longer to get grounded… specially utthita hasta padangusthasana becomes difficult.. The mind, wandering mind gets you out of balance ☺ Over all, it was very motivating as usual to practice with other students. Being in my friend’s class was very nice as well. I also feel good if any of my students decides to continue Mysore classes with Peter because I know that he will be a good teacher to them. I actually feel lucky for his presence, dedicated students will find their way to him and he is a good friend, what more I can ask for? Maybe this is not very sound in business perspective but I guess I will never make sense in business terms in yoga... what to do...

What else…. Himmm a week is left for me to take off to Boulder. But more than excitement, I have a bit of anxiety…. a bit of resentment… which I do not want to carry around. I will see what I do… I met with my beloved body this noon, it was really good to be with her, talk to her…

Monday, October 12, 2009

nice surprises...

So, the last class was very nice. There were people who were not showing up for a while also. At the end of the class, some of my students gave me gifts! A group of them made a very cute Ashtangi genie post card and attached a nice silver needle on it; another one gave me silver earrings; and another brought me a book by Walt Whitman, “Laws of Creations”. I was not expecting this much… Actually I was not even expecting more then few people showing up for the class, so this was a nice surprise. Afterwards, I had coffee with few of them and chatted for a while. That was also lovely.

The rest of Sunday was pretty much about organizing stuff in my apartment: Storing the clothes I will be leaving and at the same time, already trying to figure out what to bring with me to such journey. All the places I am going requires different type of clothing; Colorado will be cold, next is Goa which is not real India, mostly beach clothing, then Mysore, it is hot but a real Indian city, therefore requires more conservative clothing, then who knows what is next ☺. So, I was going round and round in my apartment…

Then, in the evening, when I was checking my emails I saw that I got another nice surprise. P. emailed to congratulate for earning a vacation/travel time and to invite me to practice in his Mysore class this week. This is such a nice, thoughtful gift. I was so happy, so of course, this morning I already showed up! And it was great! I had a good, warm practice, sweated much more than I usually do alone. P.’s presence was very nice as a teacher and all the students were focused on their practice. Very nice group. I enjoyed practicing with them very much. Practicing with other people is always much better for me. Also, I realized that I was in the same room where I began yoga and then Ashtanga yoga after a long while….

Today I also had to go to my dentist. What happened in Mysore last year happened again but luckily, this time it happened not right after I left but right before I left. The crown of one of my root canals broke. My dentist made the diagnosis that I should be squeezing my chaw for this to be happening all the time. Therefore, he is also making me a thing to wear at nights on my teeth to prevent me squeezing the chaw : S

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Last class of the year...

Last night two of my high school friends came for dinner. It was really nice to have the girls. I don’t why I don’t get together with them more often, it really felt home. Of course we know each other from very young and we were boarding students together, so we have this bond which is very deep. We had nice chat, some food I have prepared and two of us had a bottle of white. As most of the time, while drinking, it is good, tasty etc. but the next morning, I feel so dehydrated and bloated and hungry every half hour (!?) Thank God I don’t drink as I used to anymore! Now, it is only maybe a glass every other week and more than one glass like last night is pretty rare…

Of course, I woke up at 6AM this morning, even though I was in bed after 12AM. The alcohol does not let me sleep much… so what I did at 6AM on this Saturday morning was reading children’s version of Ramayana ☺. I just finished reading Ka finally. It was a very good book but not an easy read… so it took me a while. There are so many books to read… now I am reading one of the versions of the Bhagavad Gita Richard listed in the reading list. They will be giving us another version during the training…

What else… ? Tomorrow is my last class of the year. I hope it will be a nice one like one of those Sundays where the energy in the room is really harmonies and fluid. I hope I was some help to the students who came to the classes. I tried to share whatever I know… I am aware that I am at the very beginning of all… I tired to be open and giving and also I tried to learn from them as much as they were learning from me… I am not sure what will happen when I come back. I have a feeling things will go differently… where to teach and all… Here is not much space/acceptance for Ashtanga. Things are becoming more and more concentrated in Anusara at the studio. So be it; I have no problem with this, I just don’t have any training or interest in that style. I just might need to find a place for myself to teach and that might be the best thing that ever happened! Well, there is so much till then, so much will happen within me and out there, I will change with all the things ahead me and who knows where I will end up, how I will end up... no need to spend much energy on all this. I just want to get things done that I need to get done before I leave...

I also met with K. the Rolfer in the afternoon. We went on talking about alllllll sorts of things since I had much to tell and he always has much to say… It was nice, and hopefully I will see him before I leave or I will see him in Goa.

Thursday, October 08, 2009

moment

Last night I woke up just before 12AM with the feeling of as if I have slept the whole night… it was not convenient… I tried to go back to sleep but it took a while and of course, in the morning, it took me a while to get up. I passed out for extra half an hour before I realized this and had an “OMG I should get up and practice” moment… One thing that kept me up and kept me dwelling on was this experience I had yesterday during meditating. In the middle of my meditation (I guess) I got to the point where I was just in the moment, feeling very neutral and total, just really being in the moment, witnessing… I have experienced this before in previous times, but I tend to crowd it with thoughts rapidly. This time, I let the thoughts pass by from over my head, not letting them touch… and then I realized the fear. It was such a moment that there was no time, just the moment and I could stay there forever and not knowing how long I was there, eternity... and then of course, I would disappear ( I guess?)… Consequently, there was the fear of disappearing because of course I wanted to go to Boulder for the TT and then to India and on and on; I did not want to vanish. I don’t know if I make any sense… but next time, if I can get to this state again, I hope to relax in it even more… maybe this experience I had was the reason why I was up so early feeling like if I have slept the whole night, maybe it provided me a good rest…

About the practice? After Richard, the practice feels different, more fluid and also strong… Even 2 days with him made a difference in my practice and teaching, I cannot imagine what will happen in four weeks with him!!! Tomorrow and Sunday are my last classes to teach for this year… Then I will be getting ready; I will be getting my house together for the person who is renting it, I will be applying for Indian Visa, which I need before I go to the States… and I will be spending time with some friends and my family… I had breakfast with my POL body this morning, we are so similar no wonder we were bodies! I love her!

Saturday, October 03, 2009

R. Freeman!

At the end, I decided to attend Richard Freeman’s workshop which is happening since this Friday evening. I am very happy that I have this opportunity of meeting him and studying him before I arrive to Boulder. And what was I thinking when I said I will not go to this workshop? I am so weird sometimes… I am in despair here about not having a teacher and then the teacher whose TT I will do in a month comes here and I hesitate about going to the workshop? It just does not make sense! Last night, after the first session I was so high with excitement, with inspiration… Richard is great; he is so humorous and full of information. I was expecting him to be teaching Ashtanga with an Iyengar approach but this is not the case… He is very different… yes, there is alignment of course but the emphasizes on the internals of the practice, drishti, bandhas, ujjai breath, as the key… the central axis, the nectar, and releasing the palate with an ‘Aaaa”… ohh I am so excited… there is so much to learn from him! This workshop has been great for me for getting familiar with his teaching and also as I have told a friend, I realize that every opportunity of studying with him is a blessing!