Guruji affect

This morning, I practiced right in front of Guruji’s office and next to the wall. The wall made things a bit tough sometimes but still it was great. I was surrounded with men so there was lots of male energy around me, but in a good way, just strong energy. During Prasarita Padottanasana C Guruji came and said “head down, hands down”. It was funny because my hands were hitting against the wall and I was trying to move a bit back so I can get down… At the end, during backbends, Guruji came and began waiting in front of me. After the third one, he gently pulled me up and made me do three back drops one after another and three back&forths and the last back drop with moving hands in, each time saying “exhaaal”. They were intense and deep and great! After practice, when I went to pay my respects to Guruji, he asked me “where are you from?” I said “Turkiye, Turkey”, he said in a bit confused way “Turkey?” I guess he does not get many students from Turkey. So I said “I was in London for a year and my teacher was Cary Perkins”, then he said “one year?” well, it has not been a whole year since I began practicing Mysore style and unfortunately I could not practice for a whole year with Cary but I was in London for a year so I said “yes” and left…
So far, practice in the shala has been very inspiring, energizing! I really appreciate this opportunity and I really believe it will bring out what I have inside and improve my practice. The only bummer is that the shala is closed for 12 days at the end of December. What to do, what to do?? Got a decide.
One last note; I still have moments of “What the hell I am doing here”, especially when I go to bed at night. I guess one reason for that is, I still cannot let go this other very busy world and be here wholly and some other reasons as well…

Who goes first???

I woke up at 3AM this morning with the sound of the pouring rain. For a while, I thought it was so nice and then suddenly I remembered the clothes that I washed and hanged out! That was enough to not let me go back to sleep until I have to wake up. I was at the shala by 6AM. There were several people waiting. I began waiting as well and then more people came. The last person who came in asked me who came the last, and I said several people came in after me but I am not sure. At this instant, they were only shouting from inside “one more, come in!” So Sharat was not coming out and picking out people. Few more people went in, and then people began getting anxious, who goes next and who does not. One girl said to me it is not who arrived first, it is who registered first, and then I think someone else asked her when they told her to come in. She said “6:30 but I came a bit earlier” (30 minutes earlier!). And the woman who came the last authoritatively told us that it is only the very old students of Guruji goes by registration (or privileged in some manner I guess) and the others go in according to when they arrive that morning. As soon as she said this, they called her in even though she was last to arrive! I loved that, it was so good! It is also amazing how they feel what is going on out there, in the waiting area. Sharat suddenly began picking people instead of shouting one more. So, I was called in a bit after. I was put right in the front, in between two people who were practicing intermediate. The girl on my left, I have practiced with her side by side on one Sunday at Hamish’s. After she finished, Hamish came in her spot! It was very inspiring to be practicing in between all these people who had great practice. They let me do my practice again without any intervention. At the end, Sharat came to help me with backdrops. I said I can drop back but cannot come up, he said “you come up first then you drop back”. He made me do three going back and forths and one drop back.
After breakfast I went into town, to get myself gold earrings! I first went to the shop I was recommended but I found nothing there that was like what I wanted. So, I went into the smaller shop which was next to it and there I found the perfect gold round earrings with dangling stones! I bought them and came back. On my way to home, I stopped by Kumar’s house just to see if I can make an appointment with him (he is super busy). He was at home luckily. I told him that I would like to have a massage from him and also that I am considering to take his next massage class. First, he said that if I am still here in December, I can take it but then he said that he will begin this super intensive massage course with another person. It is 7 hours a day for 14 days. He said that is why he is so busy and how he will not be able to give any massages during that time. But that sounded perfect because I want to take massage course and he said you get so many massages when you are doing the course. I am so excited and I will definitely take it. One other thing which makes me so sure that I want to take Kumar’s course is that there was a big Osho picture in his house and there were Osho sayings written around. When I told him that I am from Turkey, he said this other person who would lead the class with him goes to Turkey a lot and I might know him. I told him that my sister might know him since she works in Osho center and goes to Puna every year, and she will be there in January and me too (hopefully!). Then he said that he will go to Puna in January also! He also told me that he does Osho meditation everyday and I should stop by! I am very excited because I feel like this is the other thing I should definitely do here and him being an Osho devotee is also very comforting and would make sister so happy!! Cannot wait to let her know!

Moving forward

This was meant to be published yesterday but blogger is not cooperating in these days. Mercury retro does it I guess...
Sunday OCT 29th
Today was led primary at 5am. I woke up pretty early and I am staying so close to the shala but I was late! Well, I thought if I would be there too early no one would be there, but that was wrong, everyone gets there early to get a spot and especially on Sunday mornings because there is only one primary led class on Sundays and so many who comes to that one. Anyways, I managed to squeeze myself into some corner and managed to do the practice somehow from that corner! I learned my lesson though!
Practice was good, very good. Sharat led it and I like his pace. While leaving I asked him 6:30 tomorrow morning, right? He said “you came at 6”! That made me happy because last Thursday, he was already gone for his own class in the middle of my practice. So, now I might get some guidance… even if I do not, it seems like just practicing here seems to be making lots of difference in my practice. For example, I tend to have hard time with left side when binding for Ardha Baddha Padmottanasana but today Sharat was walking around me so I said to myself “okay just catch it and lean forward… don’t think much.” I guess sometimes fear can make you do somethings that you think you cannot do…
Other than practice, it seems like I making friends. I enjoy Christine’s company who also stayed at Shakti house for a day when she first came in. We had breakfast at Shakti house with this American couple who also just arrived…
For the rest of the day, I don’t have any plans. I will see what comes up.

Running around...

Today was supposed to be a rest day but I have been running around. Woke up before 8am, went to Tina’s for breakfast since they had no breakfast at Shakti house. It was very good food, I had high protein porridge and it was really high protein! I met a nice Italian girl there and told her about my housing situation, my reservations about staying without being able to cook. She had a friend who will need a roommate in November so she took me there. Her friend was also very nice, she told me that I can stay in their living room for couple of days if I need to. Then on my way back to Shakti, I saw this other girl whom I met during my first day at dinner. She also told me that there is this place where her friends lives ad there they might have an opening soon. So, she took me over there since it was only five minutes away. I guess it is the rule that you say what you need then you get help, I was worrying so much last night and when it is all in your head, problems get bigger than they really are. Everyone knows something or someone and they are willing to help you. Anyways, her friend was also very nice and actually she turned out to be Eric’s student when he was teaching in the States. The room in that house is going to be available tomorrow, I saw it, it is okay, but I guess the previous place I saw was nicer. Then I went to talk to Shiva. Told him that I need a place where I can cook. He said there might me this flat available after October 3rd. He told me that I have already paid Gita some money so I better spent a week in her house and see if I find something better. He also told me to go and get a contact number (which means go get a SIM card for my phone) so he can contact me when there are flats, rooms that he can show me. I ran to a phone shop, but they needed a copy of my id so ran across the street to do that (the rickshaw, scooter/motorbike frenzy is making me dizzy, takes long time to cross the streets), then back to the shop and it took a while for me to figure out what I was getting, why it did not have a pin number (it just does not have that is what I figured) and what I was paying for in terms of minutes, how to make international calls (conclusion is just don’t, let them call you!), I guess I drove the guy crazy with all the questions... not to forget, they want a photo of yours as well! I also got an adaptor for my charger. Then I went to Gita to tell her that I will stay for a week. She is so nice! She said that she cooks for yoga students and her food is not so spicy but she was very understanding. Therefore, I will spend a week there. Her house has a very good energy though, it feels so right for some reason but I need to be able to do some simple cooking… When I was moving in, she had some yogis for lunch. She asked me if I want to try her food but I declined because I just did not want to interfere with these people’s lunch since they made a reservation for this special, intimate lunch beforehand…
I will see what comes across… Tomorrow is led practice at 5am! Cannot wait.

Mysore begins!

So I made it to Mysore. It was a tiring journey. My plane from Istanbul landed at 3:30 am to Bombay and then I had to wait for 6 hours for my other flight to Bangalore. When I arrived to Bangalore, the driver Shiva sent was there, thanks god. On the way to Mysore, even though I tried to keep my head up and have my first glimpses of India, my head kept falling like a junkie’s… I thought that when I arrive to Mysore, I will sleep all day but once I was there, I was all awake. I even managed to register with a bit of goofiness on my part because I did not have enough money when paying Guruji! Well, he was nice, so I went back to the ATM machine and got more money and I was set.
Yesterday was my first practice. They called me to come at 6:30am. I was really nervous that I would do something silly, fall onto someone or something. Guruji was not around much and later in the middle of my practice Sharat left, I guess to lead his own classes. Saraswati helped me with coming up from backdrops! She is so strong, I have never been pulled up that strongly before. SO I did the whole primary without being stopped, but I am not sure if that will be the case for the rest of my stay. Today was a led class. Sharat told us to come at 6am but we waited outside for a good half an hour. Then we were led by Guruji and he is FAST!
Other than all this, yesterday I went to the city, to this store recommended by Shakti house and got a yoga rug for 280 rupees! Today, I went to Ashok bookstore in the city with C who just arrived this morning around 4am, she is also staying at the Shakti temporarily… kind of made a friend I guess… Ohh also, I found a place, a room in an Indian ladies house, she is renting out her rooms to female yoga students. I am suppose to move in tomorrow but now I have doubts because I will not be able to cook!
How do I feel? I kind of want to be invisible some of the times. It fells awkward. I guess part of me developed an anthropologist eventually after this one year program at LSE . I feel responsible, feel like intruding in local people’s lives. But then I am aware that they make their lives on yoga students…
Still searching for the truth, but it seems nowhere close yet…

The big day!

Yes, I am off to Mysore this evening! I am so excited! And this morning, after so many weeks, I had a rocking practice! I woke up at 5:30 am, it was great, I have been having hard time waking up since I have been here in Istanbul, and I was worrying how I will mange in Mysore, I guess I will need be at the Shala around 5 am, right? I believe this is related to the wonderful Skype talk I had with Cary! Now I understand how important it is to have a good teacher, even talking to her over the internet can influence my practice for the better, think how it can help when I study with a good teacher! It was great to talk to her before I leave for Mysore.
I know it will be great! And as Cary said, I am so lucky to be going to Mysore in my first year of practice. I don’t care at all what others thing here about Mysore, I know I will benefit a lot, my practice will benefit a lot externally and internally! And about all that bandha talk, as I assumed, Cary told me that it is not so realistic to expect someone to get bandhas right in their first year of practice and she said you learn it almost intuitively as you practice, suddenly it clicks. Anyways, I should stop worrying about all this talk in Istanbul, criticism of Mysore etc… I am beginning a great journey! I will for sure have much more interesting stuff to write about when I am in Mysore!

Lazy me

I am not lazy with my practice, I am lazy with my writing. I have been reading; I read a book, I read the papers, I read other people’s blogs, I comment on other people blogs but I am not writing my own blog… Well, sister is back from Israel so it will be more fun to hang out in her house, without her super bored cats attacking me to feed them or pet them or release them from the house. Now I can spend more time there and use my beloved imac.
Last week, there was only one led ashtanga class, I was planning to go to Saturday open class too but then I thought it would be just fair to give my body a rest after no rest for almost two weeks. Also, I began realizing that there are things I need to do before I take off to Mysore such as ordering more contact lenses of which I have non left etc… I was actually considering getting laser surgery to get rid of glasses and contact lenses but I am going back to my no way stance, it is just a inner voice which does not approve of it…
Anyways, last Wednesday’s class was good and before class I got to talk to Eric for a while. He is negative of Mysore which is no news by now. He told me that I might need to take joint supplements since my knee had been bothering me a bit and since it is known that they are not so gentle on knees in Mysore… He also said it might be my mind playing games with me before I leave… I don’t know about how they are over there, I just want to go and see for myself. I don’t like to take people’s words for everything especially when there are so many controversial opinions about something… I just feel like I will be all right there and I really need it. And about my mind playing games, well that might be true, I am a bit nervous, keep thinking at what asana they will stop me and all that… but I am being gentle with knees, I know they like to go on their own pace.

Moon day practice!

I have been silent for a while, well maybe a bit lazy… also I keep my laptop in my sister’s apartment since she has a wireless internet connection, so if I don’t spend so much time over there, then I lag behind my writing…
In between my last blog and now, I committed a violation. I went to a class on Saturday, which was also the moon day. It was Eric’s class but not an ashtanga class, it was an “open” class. So, we did lots of balancing which was a bit dreadful but very beneficial for me since my balance is not so good. I guess I will go this coming Saturday as well, especially because we have only one ashtanga led class this week because of some schedule adjustment for a visiting Kundalini yoga teacher. But then starting next week, we will have three led ashtanga classes! Then I am off to India (hopefully)! I am still waiting for self-practice classes, maybe they will be in schedule when I come back from Mysore.
Okay, nothing so interesting going on. Still trying to come up form my backdrops but it does not feel likely any time soon… I guess I will feel lots going on when I get to Mysore, so I will be more interesting to read. Also, what can I say when I am practicing by myself most of the time. Ohh one thing is my right knee. It suddenly began hurting yesterday, on the inner side, it is a weird pain, like burning… it is not too much but it got me worried a bit, I want to be injury free when I get to Mysore.
And my achy tooth, it is getting better. I guess I will be fine before my trip!
One last thing I have to add is I love The Flaming Lips!

Not a threat

This week’s led practices at the shala were actually fine. I think I am getting used to the environment and the environment is getting use to my presence. Monday evening Eric decided to do second series! Of course we did not do the whole second, but the asanas we did were okay… I am still finding it unconventional but this is how my journey is shaping, so I should go with the flow as long as it is not something so unacceptable. Yesterday evening was fun too. First of all, as usual I got to the shala half on hour before the class. However, this time I could not go to the room to sit in meditation because Eric was giving a private lesson, so I had to sit with my favorite character in class, that woman who had been distressing me. I guess this is universe’s way of straightening our attitudes. So, we had to communicate for about a half an hour, well of course we did not have to but we did. I told her about my trip to Mysore, we talked about being vegetarian, becoming a teacher, how evening classes are a bit of a drag… I guess she is actually harmless. She has some insecurities and that is why she was the way she was to me in the beginning. But I think she realized that I am not a threat and I am just there to do my practice… I actually think that we might even have some of the same insecurities but the way they come out from two different persons is also different… I usually become self depreciating… Anyways, enough of analyzing…
I keep in touch with my yoga friends in London. I miss them so much. I miss morning Mysore classes. Actually, last night Eric wanted to do a Mysore class but people were too afraid of not being led and, so they objected. I think they are not aware that they will do fine, no need to be a pro. I guess that is how everyone feels in the beginning, I did not think I could do self practice classes until I took Tony’s introduction to ashtanga yoga workshop… and then it took a month for me to actually go to Mysore classes but that was because I thought I would not be able to wake up at 6am in the morning. Now I miss waking up early and going to shala to practice with everyone else. I also wake up early to do my own self-practice at home but for some reason, I don’t feel quite awake, like I did when I practiced in the studio with everyone else. Ohh I miss Cary very much as well. I keep in touch with her too, and we will see each other in Mysore, we will have a whole month to spend together!
The latest update on the tooth ache is that it is getting better, less achy but at night it gets worse… will see my dentist today. On Monday, I cried in the dentist chair ☹ I had so many troubles with my teeth, dental surgeries and all, now I freak out and also it was hurting and he kept asking all these questions… Hopefully it will be over before my trip.