tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-272289732024-03-13T03:34:42.900+00:00ashtanga journalAhuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15883711690217763845noreply@blogger.comBlogger267125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27228973.post-76429321007909393922014-07-10T18:46:00.000+01:002014-07-13T09:40:10.740+01:00First 13 Weeks<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">So how it has been to practice for the last
8-9 months? It went through phases and it
goes through phases each week. And each day is different… <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">I kind of sensed that I have gotten
pregnant the second week of my pregnancy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Right after I suspected I was pregnant, I also realized that I was
getting short of breath when I showed and talked at the same time while
teaching.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Shortness of breath is related
to increasing blood volume in the body with the pregnancy and this was very
evident, very soon to me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
<o:AllowPNG/>
</o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
</xml><![endif]-->
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:WordDocument>
<w:View>Normal</w:View>
<w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom>
<w:TrackMoves/>
<w:TrackFormatting/>
<w:PunctuationKerning/>
<w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/>
<w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>
<w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent>
<w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>
<w:DoNotPromoteQF/>
<w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther>
<w:LidThemeAsian>JA</w:LidThemeAsian>
<w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript>
<w:Compatibility>
<w:BreakWrappedTables/>
<w:SnapToGridInCell/>
<w:WrapTextWithPunct/>
<w:UseAsianBreakRules/>
<w:DontGrowAutofit/>
<w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/>
<w:EnableOpenTypeKerning/>
<w:DontFlipMirrorIndents/>
<w:OverrideTableStyleHps/>
<w:UseFELayout/>
</w:Compatibility>
<m:mathPr>
<m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/>
<m:brkBin m:val="before"/>
<m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/>
<m:smallFrac m:val="off"/>
<m:dispDef/>
<m:lMargin m:val="0"/>
<m:rMargin m:val="0"/>
<m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/>
<m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/>
<m:intLim m:val="subSup"/>
<m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/>
</m:mathPr></w:WordDocument>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
DefSemiHidden="true" DefQFormat="false" DefPriority="99"
LatentStyleCount="276">
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="0" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Normal"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="heading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="35" QFormat="true" Name="caption"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" Name="Default Paragraph Font"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="59" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
</w:LatentStyles>
</xml><![endif]-->
<!--[if gte mso 10]>
<style>
/* Style Definitions */
table.MsoNormalTable
{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";
mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
mso-style-noshow:yes;
mso-style-priority:99;
mso-style-parent:"";
mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt;
mso-para-margin:0cm;
mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:10.0pt;
font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-ansi-language:EN-US;
mso-fareast-language:JA;}
</style>
<![endif]-->
<!--StartFragment-->
<!--EndFragment--><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">The first 5 weeks I was my normal self
during my own practice, so I did practice everything except I did not jump
around and I modified closed twists to open twists except Pravritta
Trikonasana.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I actually still do
Pravritta Trikonasana.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Since I focus on
twisting the chest and keeping the hips parallel to do floor, it seems to
work…<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We even went to a David Garrigues
workshop in Amsterdam during the 4<sup>th</sup> week. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But as soon as we get back from David’s
workshop, nausea began! And it got worse and worse :p So, I was throwing up at
least once a day if not more, had headaches and sensitivity to light…<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was going to school three times a week to
learn Danish and teaching few classes. After a while, the morning practice
became a bit of a hell…<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Even raising my
head in sun salutations was not possible. So, I could do maybe sun salutations
and maybe standing poses during this time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>A week before new years, when I was still desperate to figure out how to
practice, I tried to do Iyengar yoga sequence for three days from the book
called “Iyengar yoga for Motherhood”, to see if it would work better.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The first day was fine; it seemed to help the
nausea. However, the following days nausea was back, and perhaps worse because
being that static did not help either.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Then, I tried to not do any yoga for two days but that did not feel good
either.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Finally, I figured out which
should have been a no brainer; trying to practice in the morning to an empty
stomach was the problem!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The whole
nausea thing was usually due to empty stomach, at least in the mornings…<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My system was using the food much faster than
usual.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They say that during the first 3
months of pregnancy, it is like hiking a mountain everyday for the body.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Therefore, I decided to practice one hour
after breakfast to see if that would be okay and tada!!! That was the solution… </span><br />
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span>
<span lang="EN-US">After Christmas break, Danish classes began again, then I had to practice in
the afternoons some days, but it was always good to not have empty stomach in
contrast to how I usually would practice. During this period, I practiced
everyday some of primary about 45 minutes, in a good day 60 minutes, skipping the
vinyasas between the sides. I did not really stick to a routine of asanas, so
each day, I did poses that felt good to do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I also sneaked in few poses from second series, especially parighasana
to lengthen my side body, which I needed and which I still do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> Moreover,</span> I included Parivritta and Ardha
Chandrasana after Parsvottanasana to keep my hips strong. And not to forget back bends... they were not my favorite during this time but doing Dwipada Pitham felt really nice, so some of the times I would just do that and maybe do couple of regular shoulder bridges instead of Urdhva Danurasana. Dwipada Pitham is like a vinyasa, one moves between raising the hips and arms over head with an inhale and then with an exhale moving the hips down and arms back to the side of the body. One can leave out the arm movement and just move the hips up and down with synchronized breath, I personally like the arm movement. During the days I do not feel up to Urdhva Danurasana, this is the way I go... </span><br />
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span>
<span lang="EN-US">This was the first 13
weeks.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> Then a whole new phase began...</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">TBC...</span></div>
</div>
Ahuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15883711690217763845noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27228973.post-18683979029104320342014-06-30T14:14:00.002+01:002014-07-11T10:41:17.241+01:00Hello again with news from new life<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">It has been a very long time since I have
written anything.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Most of it was due to
moving, getting married, starting a new life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>End of 2012, N and I decided to get married and move to Denmark (for him
that was a move back to Denmark).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Therefore, we got busy figuring things out such as how to get married,
finding a place to live in Copenhagen, etc.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>As much as it seemed a lot to figure out, it went pretty fast and
forward.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We managed all in a couple of
months and here I was at the end of January.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Getting married was surreal and at the same time very normal.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Surreal in a sense that I had never imagined myself
married, but then marrying with N. was so normal because being with him is so
natural.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListBulletCxSpFirst" style="margin-left: 0cm; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: none; tab-stops: 36.0pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span lang="EN-US">After all
that, there was a period of me waiting for my papers to be processed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is never easy to be a Turk and relocate </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-char-type: symbol; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;">J</span></span><span lang="EN-US"> !<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It took about 6 months for
my papers to go through. Then, I could start working and going to the government
paid Danish language classes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When one
moves to Denmark from a non-EU country, one is obligated to learn the language,
and I must say that Danish is one of the most difficult languages out
there.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have been struggling with it
since last mid-August until mid-May of this year, about 3 to 4 times a week,
each day being 4-hour long!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now, I am on
a brake, which I had been looking forward to since January. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am also 35 weeks pregnant!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had the guilt of taking a break from Danish
because my last teacher was so sweet, but I have been also looking forward to
not worrying about homework, exams and relax into the idea of becoming a mother
soon. The funny thing is that, after a week of break, I got the
chickenpox.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, I guess I would be
forced to take a break anyhow.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We were at
a summerhouse by the coast, which we had rented for two weeks. The first week
was going pretty nice; taking walks in the beach, cooking, relaxing, reading,
watching Sherlock Holmes… and then I began to have these spots on my body and I
immediately knew that I was getting chickenpox.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I guess it was always at the back of my mind, since I did not get it as
a kid and my mom also had it as an adult…<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Therefore, we had to go to the next town, to a doctor.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When you are in one of the smaller towns,
then transportation gets a bit trickier.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>We don’t own a car and have no intention to, we bike in Copenhagen, and
the summerhouse we found was okay to get to by train+bus; however, when we had
an emergency, it got a bit difficult to get to places.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We took a taxi after missing the bus, which
was late…<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The doctor who saw me said it
seems like a mild version of chickenpox and there is no risk to the baby. And
then he sent us off. Luckily, I was 30 weeks pregnant then, so my antibodies
were protecting her. I called one of the midwives we are working with and she
told me to just watch my fever and if gets too high for long period of time,
then to take some medicine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Of course,
that mild chickenpox exalted by the next day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>More spots appeared on my body and they were stinging or itching.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And all that being combined with getting
bigger in my belly, I was extremely uncomfortable in my body.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>On the other hand, I was very impressed by N.
,who did all he could to help me to find some relief.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He put cold press over my body to relieve the
itching & burning day and night, walked an hour to get to some store to buy
thermometer… and then, when I did not sleep whole night, early morning he
called an emergency doctor who came to the house and did an antihistamine shot
and prescribed some antihistamine medication, for which he had to travel to the
next town to get them… <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListBulletCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 0cm; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: none; tab-stops: 36.0pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListBulletCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 0cm; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: none; tab-stops: 36.0pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<span lang="EN-US">It has been an
unexpected, very uncomfortable experience. I recovered pretty quickly tough after
few days of intensity.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The interesting
thing was, there was only one day I did not practice yoga and that was the day
after when I could not sleep the whole night and had the antihistamine shot in
the morning and slept most of the day and had high fever.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After that day, I had to move because my body
got so achy from laying/sitting down in a soft coach most of the day and sleeping
in a softer bed than ours… I did a mild practice to wake up my legs and release
them and my hips.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I also would not feel
the itching while I practiced, so got some relief from that as well… Now the
sickness is gone but my skin has not totally recovered, there are still
spots on my face and body… My mom had chickenpox together with my sister when
my sister was a child, and she had it worse I guess.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe yoga made me a bit stronger in my
system and I only had it bad for couple of days instead of couple of weeks… <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListBulletCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 0cm; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: none; tab-stops: 36.0pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
<o:AllowPNG/>
</o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
</xml><![endif]-->
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:WordDocument>
<w:View>Normal</w:View>
<w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom>
<w:TrackMoves/>
<w:TrackFormatting/>
<w:PunctuationKerning/>
<w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/>
<w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>
<w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent>
<w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>
<w:DoNotPromoteQF/>
<w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther>
<w:LidThemeAsian>JA</w:LidThemeAsian>
<w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript>
<w:Compatibility>
<w:BreakWrappedTables/>
<w:SnapToGridInCell/>
<w:WrapTextWithPunct/>
<w:UseAsianBreakRules/>
<w:DontGrowAutofit/>
<w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/>
<w:EnableOpenTypeKerning/>
<w:DontFlipMirrorIndents/>
<w:OverrideTableStyleHps/>
<w:UseFELayout/>
</w:Compatibility>
<m:mathPr>
<m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/>
<m:brkBin m:val="before"/>
<m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/>
<m:smallFrac m:val="off"/>
<m:dispDef/>
<m:lMargin m:val="0"/>
<m:rMargin m:val="0"/>
<m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/>
<m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/>
<m:intLim m:val="subSup"/>
<m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/>
</m:mathPr></w:WordDocument>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
DefSemiHidden="true" DefQFormat="false" DefPriority="99"
LatentStyleCount="276">
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="0" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Normal"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="heading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="35" QFormat="true" Name="caption"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" Name="Default Paragraph Font"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="59" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
</w:LatentStyles>
</xml><![endif]-->
<!--[if gte mso 10]>
<style>
/* Style Definitions */
table.MsoNormalTable
{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";
mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
mso-style-noshow:yes;
mso-style-priority:99;
mso-style-parent:"";
mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt;
mso-para-margin:0cm;
mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:10.0pt;
font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-ansi-language:EN-US;
mso-fareast-language:JA;}
</style>
<![endif]-->
<!--StartFragment-->
<!--EndFragment--><br />
<div class="MsoListBulletCxSpLast" style="margin-left: 0cm; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: none; tab-stops: 36.0pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
</div>
Ahuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15883711690217763845noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27228973.post-77144553903185848302012-11-22T13:32:00.002+00:002012-11-22T14:54:13.976+00:00Take a Risk :)<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<o:DocumentProperties>
<o:Template>Normal</o:Template>
<o:Revision>0</o:Revision>
<o:TotalTime>0</o:TotalTime>
<o:Pages>1</o:Pages>
<o:Words>135</o:Words>
<o:Characters>771</o:Characters>
<o:Lines>6</o:Lines>
<o:Paragraphs>1</o:Paragraphs>
<o:CharactersWithSpaces>946</o:CharactersWithSpaces>
<o:Version>11.1539</o:Version>
</o:DocumentProperties>
<o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
<o:AllowPNG/>
</o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:WordDocument>
<w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom>
<w:DoNotShowRevisions/>
<w:DoNotPrintRevisions/>
<w:DisplayHorizontalDrawingGridEvery>0</w:DisplayHorizontalDrawingGridEvery>
<w:DisplayVerticalDrawingGridEvery>0</w:DisplayVerticalDrawingGridEvery>
<w:UseMarginsForDrawingGridOrigin/>
</w:WordDocument>
</xml><![endif]-->
<!--StartFragment-->
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Take a risk and TRUST.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>This is my task now and then, to cultivate this capacity again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I assume that we all have this when we
are born, and then loose it on the way. I feel the need for this ability more
and more for my life to flow…<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And here something I have written a month ago…</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">Listening to the rain <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">I envy the raindrop.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">How it surrenders<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">To the present moment. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">As it touches the ground<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">It takes the shape of the
ground,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">And allows itself to flow…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">I envy the raindrop,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">Envy being as free as a drop
of water,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">Not to be fixed on any shape,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">Any time, any idea, any
title.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">Wanting to flow from this
earth <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">To other ways of being,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">Not worrying about the past
nor the future,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">Not worrying about this
body, this flesh…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 160.0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 160.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">And
this body as liquid as it can be,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 160.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">Perhaps
is capable<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 160.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">Of
being as free as a raindrop.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 160.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">This
mind as imaginary as a tale<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 160.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">Perhaps
is capable <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 160.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">Of
being free and spacious…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 160.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">The
skill is finding that deep repose.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 160.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-9N3XE76YE60/UK4pVsH8HiI/AAAAAAAAAII/eaHmeycXSAk/s1600/IMG_2903.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-9N3XE76YE60/UK4pVsH8HiI/AAAAAAAAAII/eaHmeycXSAk/s320/IMG_2903.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 160.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<!--EndFragment--></div>
Ahuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15883711690217763845noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27228973.post-44503710584588249982012-10-29T14:24:00.001+00:002012-10-29T14:26:26.046+00:00question marks... <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<o:DocumentProperties>
<o:Template>Normal</o:Template>
<o:Revision>0</o:Revision>
<o:TotalTime>0</o:TotalTime>
<o:Pages>1</o:Pages>
<o:Words>237</o:Words>
<o:Characters>1351</o:Characters>
<o:Lines>11</o:Lines>
<o:Paragraphs>2</o:Paragraphs>
<o:CharactersWithSpaces>1659</o:CharactersWithSpaces>
<o:Version>11.1539</o:Version>
</o:DocumentProperties>
<o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
<o:AllowPNG/>
</o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:WordDocument>
<w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom>
<w:DoNotShowRevisions/>
<w:DoNotPrintRevisions/>
<w:DisplayHorizontalDrawingGridEvery>0</w:DisplayHorizontalDrawingGridEvery>
<w:DisplayVerticalDrawingGridEvery>0</w:DisplayVerticalDrawingGridEvery>
<w:UseMarginsForDrawingGridOrigin/>
</w:WordDocument>
</xml><![endif]-->
<!--StartFragment-->
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Today I have been feeling a bit strange…<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yes a bit strange… which is not unusual
but somehow today feeling strange has a bit more to it…</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It is a full moon day today and also Republic day for
Turkey.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I practiced my usual
practice in the morning since I will not be able to practice the coming week
because I will be participating in some other type of work/process…<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then I taught the moon day class in the
morning, which was quite gentle, slow, forward bending… It was a soft morning
afterwards, very silent… </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
At noon, I went out to buy something and on the way I saw an
old man at a doorstep.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He was
maybe sleeping…<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>wearing dirty, old
clothes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My heart leaped out and I
felt this feeling I feel when I am the heart not my mind, not selfish
self…<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then, as my mind got
involved, I felt so vain in my little yoga world, in my little self development
world, in my little world…<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It felt
all so empty…<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>and then kept on
walking to my destination…<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In the
afternoon I was on facebook and read this article posted by a friend which was
written by a singer/songwriter from my childhood.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The title of his article was “Republic day in the taciturn
people’s country”…<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>to the
point, talking about what most of us ignore to see, how it is all
going backwards here… then I looked up the news and saw that police threw gas bombs
to people who were walking for the Republic days, who were declaring that this
country is secular and will stay secular…<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I got teary, I felt so little in my little world.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know they say change yourself to make
change in the world but sometimes it feels damn selfish… yes, I feel strange
today.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<!--EndFragment--></div>
Ahuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15883711690217763845noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27228973.post-90823987572423901842012-10-25T09:33:00.002+01:002012-10-25T09:52:18.686+01:00Yes she does<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<o:DocumentProperties>
<o:Template>Normal</o:Template>
<o:Revision>0</o:Revision>
<o:TotalTime>0</o:TotalTime>
<o:Pages>1</o:Pages>
<o:Words>33</o:Words>
<o:Characters>189</o:Characters>
<o:Lines>1</o:Lines>
<o:Paragraphs>1</o:Paragraphs>
<o:CharactersWithSpaces>232</o:CharactersWithSpaces>
<o:Version>11.1539</o:Version>
</o:DocumentProperties>
<o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
<o:AllowPNG/>
</o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:WordDocument>
<w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom>
<w:DoNotShowRevisions/>
<w:DoNotPrintRevisions/>
<w:DisplayHorizontalDrawingGridEvery>0</w:DisplayHorizontalDrawingGridEvery>
<w:DisplayVerticalDrawingGridEvery>0</w:DisplayVerticalDrawingGridEvery>
<w:UseMarginsForDrawingGridOrigin/>
</w:WordDocument>
</xml><![endif]-->
<!--StartFragment-->
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
As if the present moment is a time</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That never exists,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Where all the dreams come true,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Where I am home, clear, and still,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Where I can see with clarity. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It is a time as if it never exists</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Whereas it is the only time that is here...</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I wrote this very evident little thing to myself after doing some work with Tarika. She was here for a weekend... It was nice to listen to her; her genuineness was inspiring... One more time I was forced to look at myself closely... My pitfall is to panic. Lots to work on... and seeing this makes me panic...</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
These past months have been not easy for me... I loose clarity, I find clarity, then I loose again, I loose hope which is not so bad to loose and then I regain strength... Asana practice is there but it is not enough, at least for me, to find inner space since I can get lost in accomplishment... Luckily enough, there are always more around me happening, presenting themselves freely and I am free to try them... Maybe I lack faith, I have too much doubt, too much questioning... but that is my path that I have to walk on and figure things out...</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<!--EndFragment--></div>
Ahuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15883711690217763845noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27228973.post-11997837259648463712012-01-21T10:36:00.000+00:002012-01-21T10:36:48.318+00:00Made of Stone<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><!--StartFragment--> <br />
<div class="MsoNormal">Yesterday was a lousy day but then I got my visa which is a very good thing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Everything is in the perspective.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was stuck in my mind with something else…<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>which paralyzed me half of the day and it tired me, drained me immensely.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I look at it from outside, I knew then and now that it was me who could not control my mind going all over the place and making me anxious… I could see it but I could not stop this from happening.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know now most of the reasons why I am this or that way, but still it happens…<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>seeing is part of the transformation they say…<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t know if I believe in that anymore…<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Still this morning I felt very very much emotionally drained…<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>very tired…. And I keep thinking all these people I know who are much cooler, much relaxed then I am…<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I envy them… and think maybe I belong alone...</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Anyways, this morning dad called to let me know my mom’s brother passed away.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He was sick in the hospital at the end of last year, in emergency care.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He got better, went home. When I first visited him in the hospital, he was not conscious much and when I was by his bed side, hardly recognizing him, I could not help it, I fainted right in front him…<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I felt so embarrassed…<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The third time I was there, he was not in emergency care.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He was sitting up and talking<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>so much, talking about spices to flavor his food, about fancy pens to write with, to draw with…<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He loved to draw… when I was a kid he would draw a bear to the edge of the notebook and then he would trace the same lines at the back of the paper to draw an uncle… that was his joke because he had a fat belly like a bears and in Turkish bear is “Ayi”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>and unce is “Dayi”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>so very similar…<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>now he is gone and I remember this story, his blue eyes and him in the hospital.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was suppose to call him this week to say hi… and I did postpone it thinking I will, there is time… but in reality there is no time sometimes… we postpone things thinking there is time, but maybe there is only now to do what we want to do… what we have in mind…<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>to say someone you love them, to make the decisions you want to make, to realize your purpose in life… and I was thinking this morning during my practice… what is it we are here for?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And yes sometimes I think I am one of those lame people whose yoga practice defines who they are… and I was thinking that no matter how much focus on the practice, the purpose of being here on this earth is not to be a great yoga instructors, to be little imitations of R. Freeman, M. Ezraty, Sharath R…<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>being on this earth is about love, loving someone and giving them and receiving from them… loving your partner fully and opening your heart to them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Loving your friends and opening up to them, giving love and receiving love… being happy for another… There is lots of barriers we put in front of this… it is us, it is the things we bring from our past, and sometimes it is from our back ground, we have no clue what they are but they are there, from our ancestors…<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>which might sound weird but they say yes we carry some of that energy as well…<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>so as I am reading the books I have about meditation, I feel very much guilty, it seems like I have a pretty sticky ego… Now I came to the conclusion that I just need to do my meditation and stop reading the books…<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I do what I can do and maybe a little bit more, and see if I can first cultivate more love towards my being…</div><div class="MsoNormal">the song by Stone Roses "Made of Stone"</div><!--EndFragment--> </div>Ahuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15883711690217763845noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27228973.post-81433730904859244622012-01-20T13:43:00.002+00:002012-01-20T13:50:11.773+00:00till mysore<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">This morning there were only two people the first 30 minutes of the class. And then suddenly as if they were all at a party together last night, the rest of them came at the same time. I donnu why I thought as if they were out together… this is how my mind makes connections I guess… weird… but it was nice that they came <span style="font-family: Wingdings;">J</span> and I managed to get them in and out timely so I could run out to get to the consulate timely…</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Well, I ran to the Indian consulate to apply for my visa. The same lady who has been at the desk since I began my India trips asked me “Miss Ahu, when was the last time you were in India?” and I smiled and said “last January but I got there from Thailand.” And then she looked at my form and documents, she gave back some of them… she asked me whether I was going to India to learn Yoga or to practice Yoga… as much as I did not know how to answer this, I said “to practice yoga”… I was about to hand in the Visa fee; however, she told me not to pay yet and to please wait (!) just about the same time the consulate left his room… Ohh so then I got a bit worried, began thinking what if they don’t give me the visa, we got the tickets, rented a place to stay, what if I cannot go, then what happens, how do I see N, also told the shala I am coming, and I am dying to go, well really wanting to be there and to practice and to see my friends, but most importantly, what do we do? Bought the tickets, not returnable, not cheap… I sat back and began waiting. Visa service guys coming with 10 passports… a guy, a lady… waiting… the consulate came in… and after a while she called me, asked for the fee and I asked “is it a problem that I go so often?” But as I asked the question, someone else barged in and while she was answering him, she forgot about my question and I did not want to ask again… so I left. The passport to be picked up same day at 5PM… well until I get the passport and see the Visa, I am not sure. Waiting game, luckily a very short one. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Other then that, it is a cold grey day. I am waiting… waiting… waiting… It is like Cara-Kali’s “no sleep till Mysore”… such an appropriate name… <br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-_2C-6XJtXIY/Txlw2VZp48I/AAAAAAAAAIA/XPZFrLeeqDc/s1600/mysore.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-_2C-6XJtXIY/Txlw2VZp48I/AAAAAAAAAIA/XPZFrLeeqDc/s320/mysore.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">in Mysore city, outside of Devaraj market</div></div>Ahuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15883711690217763845noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27228973.post-46262451814674629152012-01-14T15:46:00.007+00:002012-01-14T16:00:44.249+00:00simply<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Today is a snowy day :) It is lovely in some ways, of course kind of cold… but it is nice, different from my routine of last few years anyways… big flakes of snow now. I went out in the noon to go to the organic farmers market, which is 30 minutes walking distance away… It was watery snow while on the way there… Walking was fine; cold but since one moves, it was not bad. However, while I was shopping I took my gloves out to be able to pick the fruits and veggies and to pay… At the end, I was in lots of pain, frozen fingers syndrome :p At the time we got into the cab, I was really thankful that in this lousy weather, when there was some load to be carried with frozen fingers, taking a cab was possible J and the cab driver was a nice man which makes a difference in the experience…</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">When we arrived, there was no electricity at home; it was cold and dark… I was very hungry; therefore, lack of electricity could not stop me from starting to make my soup. So, I lighted up some candles and got going… and at the end the lights came as well… but I realized one more time how much we are dependent on electricity, running water etc… this we are reminded a lot while in India… In Mysore, we would have electricity cuts for 3 times or so everyday and last time in Goa, we were having electric cuts almost every night… you adapt to this…<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Well another thing I realized today was connections… I have been guilty of not embracing my country, culture, the religion I was born into. How guilty? well not acknowledging it properly perhaps or refusing it in some sense... As much as I believe in insignificance of where one is from in the case of relating to them, it is also important not to refuse where we come from; however, knowing this logically did not help my case… But today I admitted something. The connection I make with another Turk can be a bit different in some ways… Is it the same language we speak which makes communication easier and deeper or just knowing the similar experiences, same smells, same tastes, same songs or melodies, same jokes… from childhood, from home, home of our roots, I am not so sure… It was good to realize this, for one thing, remembering my roots … No matter how much I do not live them myself, I know them, I relate easily and it moves something inside, like being home. Also I realized that I might never have this kind of connection with a person from another country no matter how dear they are to me. Maybe if they spend sometime here and experience the flavors of the daily life, the culture, they can understand like my dear Maria seems to… The good thing about realizing this was, I will not be disappointed if sometimes the connection with another from elsewhere has some gaps in it, It is only natural… but this is true with most connections we make. This counts with my Ashtanga friends also. The experiences I share with them is unique to that group, the connections I have with them is special in that context and I am not able to have the same kind of connection with others… how I feel energized and feel home with them is also very special, different. But today was about being in this country and realizing that I am from here. I can relate to an old Turkish song, to its melody and words, and then walking in the back streets of Istanbul and feeling the oldness of the city and remembering how it used to make me feel nostalgic to sometime I never experienced while I was a teenager and used to write stories to that old Istanbul… yes a special day like everyday… a snowy day.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Lae3CWMi6Jw/TxGjJSf7NzI/AAAAAAAAAH4/vC5nM6zlAj4/s1600/IMG_2207.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Lae3CWMi6Jw/TxGjJSf7NzI/AAAAAAAAAH4/vC5nM6zlAj4/s320/IMG_2207.JPG" width="320" /></span></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">outside from my window... kids so excited in the opposite building.</span></div></div>Ahuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15883711690217763845noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27228973.post-81265953589164015642012-01-11T10:25:00.005+00:002012-01-11T10:51:33.576+00:00practice<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">Uhh I guess I can say I feel a bit lousy… I was sad last night and I was sad this morning. During practice, I stopped and sobbed… and of course during pincha… my official last pose. I am getting it slowly slowly but it has been taking sometime since I am such a Vata, having difficulty of being balanced, steady, strong… I usually need a break of five breaths after Tittibhasana, then it seems to be happening… of course you never know from week to week… anyways. It was okey to stop and sob as well… frustration with myself, with my emotions, and with my fears and anyways this is nadi shodhana I am practicing… and perhaps there is a bit of pincha in all this, or all this is in my pincha… During Savasana I really wondered how I would go down and teach, I just wanted to go back to bed. It sounded like it was rainy and windy outside as it was within myself… But then, of course as soon as I began teaching, I forgot about myself. This is I guess the greatest gift of teaching for me, I become no mind, present… </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Well, now I can again feel my confusion, sadness… I wonder how conditioned I am, how it runs over me. Is it from my childhood, or even from before, my past lives or my ancestors? I donnu. Does meditation help me to understand myself? I try… I sit, I dance and sit, I shake and sit, and then I simply sit… but it is a mess in this head. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Jd-i-kysfks/Tw1kDK5aRiI/AAAAAAAAAHw/AElU6xny0aE/s1600/IMG_2174.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Jd-i-kysfks/Tw1kDK5aRiI/AAAAAAAAAHw/AElU6xny0aE/s320/IMG_2174.JPG" width="239" /></a>This morning I just drew an Osho Zen Tarot card. The card I got was Receptivity, Queen of Water. It is about being feminine; receptive quality of water and emotions… “a time of unboundedness and gratitude for whatever life brings, without any expectations or demands…” One more time, it is time for me to learn to let go, let go of my expectations, hopes and wishes, fears… Last night I remembered the summer before, how I was depressed and then looking back how I felt thankful for the way things turned out… I have to keep remembering instead of resisting what the moment brings… and whatever happens, not to feel shattered by it. Very hard… but one has to practice, practice, practice… practice compassion for oneself and others, practice understanding for oneself and others, practice love for oneself and others, practice being a human being…</div></div>Ahuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15883711690217763845noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27228973.post-84681696283094304742012-01-07T09:28:00.009+00:002012-01-07T12:36:10.318+00:00how long is now???<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">2012 has arrived… I was lucky to enter the new year with a loved one. I noted some of the things I would wish for the new year… We managed to keep up until the midnight but that was it, after few minutes I was happy to be sleeping, the chicken I am...</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">The last three weeks went by fast… sometimes I felt fear because of uncertainty of the future, sometimes I just felt joy just because I was with the one. I had yet another chance to visit the dark corners of my mind and also to see the feelings that are stored in my memory making entrance to the present with no real connection. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-JE4Axs7Kob4/TwgP-W4w1oI/AAAAAAAAAHo/lTJq3dHPQS0/s1600/IMG_2159.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"></span></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">It is interesting to experience all this which is quite impossible to do for me if I am not with other people, if I am my usual hermit. I sometimes need a mirror and sometimes I need someone to shake me and say hey you are living some other story not this one, wake up, and sometimes I need them to push my buttons to see what I am hiding deep within… but to do this, I think there is need for connection, patience and love… I hope that we are all surrounded by our people to grow with.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">The second day of this year, I heard the sad news of someone passing whom I have known of but have never really met. My heart went for her. I also realized I felt bad for not meeting her. We had been in the same places maybe once or few times… I could have met her, but did not. Still I felt for her, I wished for light and love and peace on her way and tried to think she is not really gone… However, I was still shocked, I was still shaken and clueless in some sense… I also realized how unpredictable this life is, how uncertain everything is no matter how hard we might try to plan and make things certain… I guess I keep being reminded of all this periodically and then somehow I slip back to my other worrisome state… have to keep remembering to live fully, to live up to who I am, not a mere shrunken imitation of self because there are no guarantees and life will not wait for me... <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">I am now counting days! I am super excited to be going back to the place where I feel the practice is the most intense and deep and inspiring and where I have my people who supports me, understands me but also forces me to look deep in, to know myself better, and to learn to be more open. They are mirrors to myself, they are greater examples to the potential I have, they are sisters and brothers for life time… I cannot wait to be there where my teacher will seem to not know me but will surprise me just when I am convinced that he has no clue about my practice or who I am, by telling me what I need to do or what he knows I can do… <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Well now is time to be here, but how long is now until I get there? :) and perhaps most importantly how long is now for me to have the courage to be myself fully?</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-JE4Axs7Kob4/TwgP-W4w1oI/AAAAAAAAAHo/lTJq3dHPQS0/s1600/IMG_2159.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-JE4Axs7Kob4/TwgP-W4w1oI/AAAAAAAAAHo/lTJq3dHPQS0/s320/IMG_2159.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">the mirror for me at Topkapi palace</span></div></div>Ahuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15883711690217763845noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27228973.post-84394754470118552322011-12-07T16:02:00.001+00:002011-12-07T16:02:59.254+00:00Farewell to Tarçın<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-xgEufJAAurc/Tt-N3ZO9p3I/AAAAAAAAAHI/8C2u7h7o_NI/s1600/tarcin.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-xgEufJAAurc/Tt-N3ZO9p3I/AAAAAAAAAHI/8C2u7h7o_NI/s320/tarcin.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>Today we lost the alpha cat Tarçın. I wrote few month ago that she was sick and was about the leave us but she stayed with us longer than we expected, she was stronger than we imagined.<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">This morning my sister called me and told me that she was home and Tarçın looked like she might leave. I went to her and there the alpha cat was laying on the floorö all flat and not moving at all. My sister and I caressed her, gave her reiki… Then after a while my sister asked if it was time to take her to the vet to put her to sleep. We waited for a while to see if she would pick up more energy and maybe eat something. But all did happen was she moaned loudly and this was the sign that she was in too much pain since animals are much more tolerant to pain than humans and they usually not much vocal about their pain. <br />
<br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">We took Tarçın to the Vet. He checked her and said the tumors were all over her body… and if my sister could tolerate, it is best to put her to sleep. So we did. My sister stayed with her, I sat for a bit since I tend to collapse in such situations and I wanted avoid such a scene since the Vet did not want anyone during the procedure and hardly let my sister stay. <br />
<br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Then we took Tarçın to my sister’s old house, where my parents live now. Buried her to the garden. My sister got a beautiful vivid pink cyclamen on the way to plant over where Tarçın was going to be buried. My father and all, the burial was managed under the rain.</div><div class="MsoNormal">It was so sad to loose Tarçın who had a little mark in the middle of her lips which made her look like she was giving a kiss all the time… She loved my sister very much, followed her everywhere; she was a very loyal one. As all these things happened today, I thought about what do I know about life and death… Loosing a dear one, a person or an animal… loosing a piece of your heart. Also need to know to let go so they can go in peace, but so difficult when they are so close to your being… on the other hand, it is the same way we will all go, and can this make things a bit more easy... well it was still very difficult, very sad, very heart breaking. We fair welled her with tears… </div></div>Ahuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15883711690217763845noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27228973.post-52064131299443272232011-11-28T16:15:00.001+00:002011-11-29T04:36:48.597+00:00Piano...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">When I was learning to play the piano as small child, my piano teacher would ask my mom after each class how I managed to stay in mom’s belly for 9 months. I was impatient with the notes; hurrying, running over notes that were suppose to be held longer… Most of the time, she would teach me short Mozart pieces which bore me a bit after a while ( no offence, I love Mozart) because they were always similar to one another. Later on, when I was in high school I started to take classes from another teacher who would teach conservatory students and he gave me lots of exercises to begin with and then there came Bach, and Chopin…. The exercises were good for me but also the complexity of Bach… made me concentrate wholly… Afterwards, the first year and a half of college I was at Grinnell, where we could take 30-minute piano classes once a week for a mere hundred bucks during each semester. Being in Iowa, which could be utterly boring if you weren’t a pot smoker, I began practicing every day for an hour. There, I really began to play the piano … I was totally absorbed during those one-hour time slots in the piano room. There were 4 or 5 piano rooms we could sign up for, and two of them had grand Steiner pianos which I loved playing… The amazing thing was that, with minimum instructions (30 min a week), but with daily practice, I played the piano at my best… and I guess at that point I also learned to be more patient with the notes that were suppose to be held longer… </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Now, time to time, I get excited about playing the piano again. Now I have no piano, but maybe a keyboard, which is similar to a piano, can do the job… However, I am sure to be very rusty since it has been years… I have to go to basics to become quick with reading the notes again and then some drills to get quick with my fingers and then start playing some pieces of music… This is one of my dreams… why? Because I love music and I know that it is one of the things which makes me totally absorbed.., so very meditative.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-PGCZoMrNncc/TtOzXUFObWI/AAAAAAAAAFU/mzyJXTEnCXw/s1600/004.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-PGCZoMrNncc/TtOzXUFObWI/AAAAAAAAAFU/mzyJXTEnCXw/s320/004.JPG" width="320" /></a>Why am I writing all this? Perhaps there is more than one reason… One of them is seeing how impatient I can be which reminds me my childhood piano teacher and the book KA where it is written “...that impatience is the only sin” and the other thing is the Mysore room which is when it is full, makes me totally absorbed, total like when I used to play the piano. I also have a dream that one day things will become more steady in my life… where I will be living in a more natural environment with a beloved, teaching yoga together, and perhaps there will be space for a piano like keyboard in one corner of our home… I hope this is not a mere dream but a possibility… I wish for this with my whole heart.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div></div>Ahuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15883711690217763845noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27228973.post-8887657998971192472011-11-21T08:54:00.001+00:002011-11-21T08:55:31.921+00:00be light<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-MaHLoRqL1Ww/TsoReQeqSdI/AAAAAAAAAFE/lgDwjQ_B-t4/s1600/IMG_2015.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-MaHLoRqL1Ww/TsoReQeqSdI/AAAAAAAAAFE/lgDwjQ_B-t4/s320/IMG_2015.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal">Finally on a lighter note <span style="font-family: Wingdings;">J</span> I am feeling fine, I am feeling that my hormones are playing pranks on me each month and I began worrying about things without any cause… And this morning I decided it is enough, I can see this and practice not taking it seriously. I just read this on a wall of a friend “Worrying is like praying for what you don’t want” ha! Have to remember this! And I have to enjoy being in love; really, otherwise what is the point???</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I also realized this morning why it is important to have a teacher and why actually good teacher trainings are kind of necessary to learn how to teach and adjust… I actually learned a valuable lesson this time while I was gone regarding one’s practice versus teaching. These don’t necessarily reflect each other; yes they can but teaching is a whole different skill which we learn by time, hopefully by studying with good teachers, ideally assisting them… </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Well today is a sunny nice day. I am reading “Krishnamacharya: His life and Teaching” by A.G. Mohan which is an easy and an interesting read and I should finish it soon… ok, there has been few times I complained that he brags maybe too much regarding being close to Krishnamacharya, but I guess I am a bit envies, I mean who would not be proud of this? <span style="font-family: Wingdings;">J</span> I heard about Mohan and his book from a friend who was in Mysore while Mohan was invited to the shala to give a speech this past season… What is interesting in the book is how Krishnamacharya would give different recipes for each student and how he was always keen on accepting only the really interested people as students which I like… </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div></div>Ahuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15883711690217763845noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27228973.post-20993707729130416572011-11-20T18:46:00.003+00:002011-11-20T18:48:52.315+00:00the mermaid<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-zRjSEc7nEfI/TslLA1W4L7I/AAAAAAAAAE8/pYvBnRo2u18/s1600/IMG_1879.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-zRjSEc7nEfI/TslLA1W4L7I/AAAAAAAAAE8/pYvBnRo2u18/s320/IMG_1879.JPG" width="240" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I am not grounded today… I feel lots of fear without any reason… it makes me want to give up everything in life. I know this sounds so negative but this is how I feel. I am such an impatient one, I want to see everything laid out in front of me, I want to be sure of what is ahead even though I know this is not possible even when I plan things carefully. There are always changes, adjustments that come along with time. Before, I did not feel so much fear perhaps because I was the king of my own kingdom… but now it is different and I am so scared of being hurt that I see that my paranoia can ruin things. I don’t know how to be serene because all these unconscious old patterns are being awakened and they are bombarding my psyche. During these times I feel as if nothing is helping me, not the asana, not the meditation, not the therapy, everything out the window and I am on my own with my fears… I suddenly lack trust in myself and in life, that things will be ok, I will be ok no matter what happens. I forget that painful situations as well as beautiful ones take me wherever I need to be going. I forget that this need to control things is not helpful but stressful for everyone... this goes on forever… but then I also see that perhaps because of these times, because of this tendency to be so ungrounded that I need such a physically challenging practice which brings me back to my body, back to this earth… </div><div class="MsoNormal">As I think all these, I keep experimenting. Just as I think no practice works, I sat on the cushion to see what will happen.… It brings a bit calmness but that is not for certain each time, next time I might find myself in tears… But reminding myself, over and over, that we are not separate, we are not all that different from each other and so learning to accept. As I sat today, the little mermaid story came to my mind… When I was a kid, each time I was told that story I sobbed; my heart went for the little mermaid… maybe I did associate with her and still does, afraid of becoming a foam in the sea… So, not to become a foam in the sea, to stay in this body, I have to make sure to wake up for my asana practice tomorrow morning… just like this I have to keep practicing all day long, taming the body, taming the breath, taming the mind, taming the emotions… and then let whatever is suppose to happen, happen…</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-8CmRmpDD82A/TslKo_a6tNI/AAAAAAAAAE0/35UKYMdwLFw/s1600/IMG_1974.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-8CmRmpDD82A/TslKo_a6tNI/AAAAAAAAAE0/35UKYMdwLFw/s320/IMG_1974.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div></div>Ahuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15883711690217763845noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27228973.post-53749514827495286362011-11-08T17:06:00.004+00:002011-11-08T17:13:01.959+00:00Time<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="MsoNormal"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-IuYHPFElYd0/TrljErFsyjI/AAAAAAAAAEk/dqgxS9Z8C2g/s1600/IMG_1880.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-IuYHPFElYd0/TrljErFsyjI/AAAAAAAAAEk/dqgxS9Z8C2g/s320/IMG_1880.JPG" width="240" /></a></div><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I donnu how it is slipping through my hands… It makes me wonder where I will end up in no time again… I am being reminded of my mom’s words to me when I was too depressed last summer, her telling me not to waste my time with being so sad because this precious time we have goes by so fast, that she cannot believe how the time passed so fast that I am in my 30s now… Well she of course had a point but also it was invaluable for me at that time to go down so low… It showed me a lot, also made me feel things more deeply, not pleasant feelings but rather disturbing ones which made me face myself more honestly and brought this process of learning to except myself with more openness… It is still an on going process which will take a life time… </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I am facing myself in my practice everyday but also now in someone else who is mirroring me in so many ways… Practicing on the mat has been fine. Things that I work on do not come easily and then still there are things happening slowly slowly… Some days I get frustrated, why so slow progress??? and then I see it is my mind which gets fixated on doing it the wrong way! Ha! I am so prone to expect the negative, it is also in my practice and then of course that can be the result. This is actually a good lesson because it is in other parts of my life as well. One part of my life has been high lighted for the past couple of months. I have been avoiding it so well and now I have to open the doors and windows and let the new air circulate; however, it is not easy. Many spider webs, holding onto old memories, old feelings, visions… I shrink and get scared because expect same ways of treatment I had before which has nothing to do with the one in front of me, … Then I go to other end, I panic and try to hold on really tight so it does not slip away and of course everything gets cramped up when there is no space to breath.. and one more time to the other side of the pendulum, I begin thinking about giving up, “what is the point, it won’t work anyways” syndrome... so back and forth… negative to positive, all great to hell run… Of course my point of reference is not the actuality of now but the past… Events and people from the past and past behaviour patterns of mine which were adopted at the time due to circumstances that have little to do with the present moment, present me or with the person across from me. Ahh, this is harder then the yoga practice on my mat. Realizing, and not going on with all this habitual patterns of past but creating a new reality, a new belief system, new point of view, new ways of responding, communicating and a way to see the reality with naked eyes rather than with a vision blurred with the past… On the other hand, I guess my practice on the mat still can inform this new task I took upon, and create a reference point. One point to start from is to not give up and to take the task everyday in the same way I take upon my daily practice… I owe this to myself not because there has to be something grand at the end of this whole thing, maybe it will fade away, but I think there is a great possibility of learning, and understanding that can come out of it just as there was from the low I have been through last summer. I don’t want to avoid, run away from it due to my fears. I have enough confidence to face other parts of life as well… and there is this beautiful being in front of me who is as human as I am and not afraid to show this to me, no pretentiousness, much openness and same as me dealing with fears and reluctances… </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-3IRj3eD78O4/TrlhnLVGgPI/AAAAAAAAAEU/8VifQuV8voc/s1600/IMG_1872.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-3IRj3eD78O4/TrlhnLVGgPI/AAAAAAAAAEU/8VifQuV8voc/s320/IMG_1872.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div></div>Ahuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15883711690217763845noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27228973.post-78919899313735641562011-10-19T20:06:00.003+01:002011-10-19T20:06:08.910+01:00So many moons<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:DocumentProperties> <o:Template>Normal</o:Template> <o:Revision>0</o:Revision> <o:TotalTime>0</o:TotalTime> <o:Pages>1</o:Pages> <o:Words>265</o:Words> <o:Characters>1512</o:Characters> <o:Lines>12</o:Lines> <o:Paragraphs>3</o:Paragraphs> <o:CharactersWithSpaces>1856</o:CharactersWithSpaces> <o:Version>11.1539</o:Version> </o:DocumentProperties> <o:OfficeDocumentSettings> <o:AllowPNG/> </o:OfficeDocumentSettings> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:DoNotShowRevisions/> <w:DoNotPrintRevisions/> <w:DisplayHorizontalDrawingGridEvery>0</w:DisplayHorizontalDrawingGridEvery> <w:DisplayVerticalDrawingGridEvery>0</w:DisplayVerticalDrawingGridEvery> <w:UseMarginsForDrawingGridOrigin/> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--> <!--StartFragment--> <br />
<div class="MsoNormal">So, so many moons takes one to get wherever they need to arrive to…<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have lots of way ahead me, I know.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have been through this and that, many countries, many cities, many trips, many living situations, many people, no people…<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>one after another, keep changing, keep diverging, leaving, coming…<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What is the destination I do not know, I do not think so much about where I am going to arrive at, but the journey has been really interesting so far.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How did I end up in India at a friends wedding at a Hindu temple that they found on the side of the road to Arpora? I looked around felt so blessed for my new family.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I felt gratitude for my guts which took me away from where I was few years back…<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I felt gratitude for my teachers, friends who shared willingly with their whole heart.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Time has been flowing since that time I looked around and felt so blessed; this happened again and again, looking around and feeling amazed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Beginning to know myself a bit more each time, struggling with it and then letting go… Making mistakes and realizing them, feeling lousy and then again letting go, learning to let go.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Feeling supported by generous friends, teachers and sometimes feeling to be let down… all there as it is and seeing it, excepting it and sometimes becoming reactive which does not help but teaches a lot :p…<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>and patient ones who keep walking beside you…<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>which again thought me a lot, the generous hearts, forgiving hearts… lasting beautiful friendships where we all had to be honest at the end and realize the beauty and humanness in each other…<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">What is ahead I do not know but I can guess that it will not be less interesting than what had been already.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I thank this lifetime even for this much.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now is a beautiful space I share with another, what is next we do not know… but present is a beautiful present… </div><!--EndFragment--></div>Ahuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15883711690217763845noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27228973.post-32522987981097065022011-10-08T19:14:00.002+01:002011-12-07T18:43:22.247+00:00re-reminder...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">I found something I have written last year in August... It touched me deeply as i read it today, so I wanted to share it again...<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #666666;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #444444; color: #eeeeee; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px;">Conditioned by the society most of us torture ourselves. There are no real differences among us, but we forget this as we grow up… and then the big part of the whole work becomes to work out that the differences are just mind games… even on our quest for truth we create separations. In our love for another we worry ourselves with differences… with love to ourselves we do not give totally because we feel separate and think that something must be wrong with ourselves… let go is necessary, a big let go of all this ideas of being higher or lower, failure or success, good or bad, beautiful or ugly… let the power of love work and see the miracle happening. Support each other to let the jewel in every being to shine and become visible. I thank my practice, my teachers, my friends, my beautiful sister and OSHO for reminding me that there is something beautiful in this world that makes life worth living!</span></div>Ahuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15883711690217763845noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27228973.post-11200578261411560372011-09-13T18:33:00.009+01:002011-09-14T09:14:26.697+01:00from rawness to ripeness...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">I think about relationships these days. And as I do, I see how fearful I can become... However, suddenly I had this opportunity to stop which was during my visit to Tarcin the cat, who will pass away very soon :(. As I was caressing her, I remembered one more time that we are borne to this life to die at one point, and the time between our birth and death is the time to discover who we are, to realize ourselves instead of trying to improve, fix, change what is already there... Learning to relax into being ourselves, having the courage to unfold what is deep down. I realized that there is no reason to be apologetic about myself, about having the potential of being a pain in the neck some of the times or whatever... because those are irrelevant to who I am, to who any person is. The person who will be with me will choose to be with me for who is in there, not for some other image they have in mind. and I shall be with someone for who they are not for any other reason. What occurs is a big growing, learning, maturing process between the two. No expectations to load on anyone since no one can fulfill those. Yet there is always possibility to learn from each other, by looking with naked eyes to one another and experiencing the good and the bad in one another, by practicing patience to be with the other in hard times and enjoying the experience each person brings into the union... and no need to loose oneself in the other, because it is a union of two halves, not one taking over the other. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">There is one quote from the book I read about Rumi I keep remembering, it says that nobody can transcend from rawness to ripeness on their own... so I have to keep reminding this to myself; to engage with people to know myself and perhaps no matter how painful some of the relations on the way... I am not scared, there is nothing to be scared of. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><br />
</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-EPcOO2y1UMs/Tm-UF86448I/AAAAAAAAAEI/zpVtfaku1wI/s1600/tarcin.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="311" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-EPcOO2y1UMs/Tm-UF86448I/AAAAAAAAAEI/zpVtfaku1wI/s320/tarcin.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial;">Tarcin, the alpha cat will be gone. We will never forget her, and I will ever be thankful to her for bringing me back home to myself, to now... what is in the future we never know, but there is now I cannot miss...</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br />
</div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div></div>Ahuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15883711690217763845noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27228973.post-40314328402288748942011-09-06T18:21:00.003+01:002011-09-06T18:28:31.243+01:00Athena and I<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">Today I had to remember to stop like it would be perhaps with Gurdjieff… now I stop to see my mind and if it has anything to do with reality of now or if t is just bringing in old stuff out of the closets of my memory bank… </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I got a bit anxious yesterday… It began with “ohh I am being flaky with my commitments” and then this is followed with other judgments of the self, and then panicking about the future and finally trying to make a u turn from all this. After all, I slept and actually had a good dream, which began fading as soon as I woke up… I just felt the pleasantness of the dream, and then I saw it just slipping by from the memory since it was so early in the morning… </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-vcvUsxLHu2M/TmZWo5mqQqI/AAAAAAAAAD4/EbHVbVtD24s/s1600/IMG_1084.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-vcvUsxLHu2M/TmZWo5mqQqI/AAAAAAAAAD4/EbHVbVtD24s/s320/IMG_1084.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal">Well, is there anything substantial with my fears… maybe yes, maybe no… However, it does not matter, I just have to live this time, which is so limited and can be so eternal… Life is presenting a gift maybe and I can miss it if I go round and round and confuse myself. Last night, before I went to bed, I realized that I am not the person I was before, and if anything now, I can stop and see things a bit more clearly perhaps and practice to refine… and no need to expect to be perfect, not to expect anybody to be perfect, or just to realize it is perfect as it is, me, the other, and others and everything else… Practicing not getting lost on the way; keep waking up to now. And remembering I will not be the same person tomorrow either, while Athena will be in Pergamom museum for a while longer looking as gorgeous as before where she represents a bit of the eternal in all... some dichotomy to think about :)<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-_Zf2m1crhrs/TmZYNX4uSgI/AAAAAAAAAD8/DFb7J8fVARk/s1600/078.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-_Zf2m1crhrs/TmZYNX4uSgI/AAAAAAAAAD8/DFb7J8fVARk/s320/078.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div></div>Ahuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15883711690217763845noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27228973.post-57961126594042659682011-09-05T16:36:00.007+01:002011-10-08T19:47:02.102+01:00eternity in now<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-EIKHFf8ogg4/TmTnNqElilI/AAAAAAAAAD0/4-Sx2mP1YPI/s1600/144.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-EIKHFf8ogg4/TmTnNqElilI/AAAAAAAAAD0/4-Sx2mP1YPI/s320/144.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Good question, how long is now? I guess it is as long as one makes it. August was not long at all but I have known months which were so long… <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Now, back in Istanbul after such a transformative month in Berlin. First, it was amazing Maty whom I loved instantly! She was a full power, inspiring, true heart. I have no words to describe her. I learned in those two weeks more than I have learned during last couple of years. I bow to her with respect and love. It was pretty sad to see her leave after those two weeks. Then, Chuck came and we had a moment until we got on the groove with him and that was mostly because of the course being split up like this. However, after a while, we got on a very efficient track and he thought us a lot as well. Chuck is very very good with his adjustments, of course he cheats a bit with his advantage of long limbs that can reach further than we could manage J but seriously he taught us well! and now I am looking forward to studying with them again and again... <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Of course, after a while we all blended pretty well. I met lovely people in this course. Also there was a Goa group, those of us who have met before in Goa and also in Mysore. Well, one always meets lovely people in these courses I guess, but this time I was emotional… I got so used to everyone, I felt really sad to apart at the end. This usually does not happen with me because I have been leaving places over and over so when the time would arrive, I would almost disconnect from my feelings… but then the ashtangi world is small, so hopefully I will see them at one point in one of those places we go for practice.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">On the other hand, things seem to be shifting. Maybe it is the period I am in or each time I go deeper… I feel like this course affected me deeply, and changed me in some ways, touched my heart in several places. I felt very emotional at times; very connected to the pain of a friend; got new understanding about practice, how it should and should not be and so on… Also I have been watching some of those missing links in my life for the past few months and at the end of this month, I am being given a ticket to take a leap. Now with a bit of tremble in my heart, I am daring to do things differently… As I wrote to a friend, it feels like a new chapter of my life is beginning suddenly and I have to figure out how to place myself in it, and it is so sudden and it feels so much like "uhh can it be real, how did I jump here from there..." This is how it is with me, usually it is not progressive, I suddenly find myself in a new territory. And now learning to navigate in this new territory… my practice and teaching are changing as well as my priorities. Well, change in the first two is always expected and welcomed so we grow as practioners, and teachers… but the last one! With me, the stubborn one who would not look right or left, nor hear any alternative to her plans, compromise from them, now is thinking maybe it is time to bend the rules a bit to make room for other parts of my life… ha! but that is also the part of practice, isn’t it? as one of my first teachers told me… relating, letting go of the past, learning from past mistakes, learning to look inside, making room for another, daring to take risks for change, to question and many more are all part of the practice… slowly I will see if I can… Dear Silvia told me I can do anything I want, and so I better remember that... <o:p></o:p></span></div><br />
</div>Ahuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15883711690217763845noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27228973.post-34159837875761210032011-08-19T03:40:00.005+01:002011-08-19T09:23:46.957+01:00inquiry to go in<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div closure_uid_mhtrl6="107">This months, I am in Berlin doing a teacher intensive with Maty Ezraty and Chuck Miller. As always, these kind of intensives bring stuff to the surface, raise issues within oneself and within the circle.... </div><div closure_uid_lt3cn0="106"><div closure_uid_aa7qje="96">First of all it has been great two weeks with Maty. Now on, it will be another two weeks with Chuck. Maty was a joyful and a very good teacher. I think she has a genius with the way she works with the students. She is very sharp to see what is going in ones' body... and she does not hold back from any student, she teaches and tries to serve everyone of her students with the same enthusiasm... That is I guess one of the most important qualities in a good teacher. Being interested in every student, approaching to every students with compassion and positive intention... </div></div><div closure_uid_aa7qje="98"><div closure_uid_605afe="107">Being really mesmerized with Maty, I also began going some kind of inquiry... and I can be wavered very easily, what is this called, himmm.... anyways... Of course there is discussions about the system and teachers to practice with when you are in a group like this. There is always dichotomy within systems and then there is that I am better than you among systems... so it goes, " why meditation is not recommended in the ashtanga system; it does not really encompass it all; ashtangis do not meditate; most ashtanga teachers are not good, Mysore is not good etc..." Well I think everyone has to decide for themselves. You can go on talking about this stuff forever but this is pure waste of energy and more of our insecurities creeping up. I think the think is doing just what is right for oneself and being comfortable with that, not having the need to justify yourself. If you want to meditate, meditate, do not weep that system is telling you are not read to do. As a matter of fact, the first time I became interested in meditation was because of one of my first Mysore style Ashtanga teachers. and she was an Authorized, dedicated student of Mysore, so no need to generalize... If your heart is into meditating, then why not do it, figure out for yourself. One person cannot have all answers for us, but then if some others are ok with what they are told to do , then I guess that is what sings to their heart; therefore, one also need go be accepting of those who is comfortable under the wings. We can argue a lot of things and then at the end of the day it can come to the same point. For instance, Maty is very concerned about teaching with safety and she is not comfortable the way most ashtanga teachers teach... She has a point, a very good one but then I also experienced that a teacher claiming to be non violent with their approach to teaching can be violent with their words and attitude to the students to an extent that the student feels discouraged and belittled and all these emotional wounds began happening as if that person needed more to what they have been already caring on... then perhaps we need a balance. One can try to "fix" someone in a posture to perfection but on the way, if it is forgotten that there is a person there, then what does it matter. Would that yoga bring freedom because it positioned the body to perfection? </div></div><br />
All systems have their short comings... I have been into Osho's teachings and done Osho groups and meditations since I began practicing yoga. Yoga and Osho also have their little dance going on in between. Most Osho sanyasins find yoga to be too rigid, too much discipline.... and the most yoga people sneer at Osho. I have been thorn between the two for quite a while. And now I see that why think over so much, get into a schizophrenia... Some Osho stuff is not suitable for me, especially in the community, I do not like, i do not feel comfortable with, but is is only some of it, then there are really nice, beautiful people who are willing to listen to your heart no matter what it is, whether you are in rage or bliss, they accept the being. I have to say that many of his meditations, I practiced daily for a while, they brought me to my center, connected to myself. I am sure there are many who do not regard them as effective techniques and think if one does not sit in vipassana for 10 days, they do not know mediation... well what is there to know anyways...<br />
<br />
<div closure_uid_aa7qje="109"><div closure_uid_4zqax0="97">Now I try to bring myself to my center with sharing all this, coming to samasthiti.... </div></div><div closure_uid_aa7qje="109">and I thank Maty for her great teaching and presence during these past two weeks! She was wonderful and lots of fun.</div><br />
</div>Ahuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15883711690217763845noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27228973.post-60069742005745080262011-05-31T11:00:00.001+01:002011-05-31T11:01:31.668+01:00sometimes it is all about softness<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">There is a lot that I think about these days… and some of it is related to softness… I know I lost some of my softness on the way, trying to have it all together while I travel or had to face difficult situations, to not to panic, not to feel desperate, not to be taken advantage of, not to seem lost, not to feel vulnerable… so somethings are calcified. However, now I think that too of a strong hold could be a barrier to the actual strength we have, and to the experiences that life is offering us… I guess at times, one has to be vulnerable… Like the time I told my friend how I was hurt with all that happened, when I could accept my vulnerability, to the point of sharing with the other. Then I was so free from it latter on… I was true to myself and to the others, I could not fake all was alright at a time when all felt bitter… I had to trust that I could handle it no matter what the reactions could be and at the end of it all, I just felt soft, open and very human with all the imperfections… I need to remind myself this experience of last fall. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Y_5lmdP4BzI/TeS8JoRvVgI/AAAAAAAAADw/sDq8AMm8vCU/s1600/IMG_0035.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="298" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Y_5lmdP4BzI/TeS8JoRvVgI/AAAAAAAAADw/sDq8AMm8vCU/s320/IMG_0035.JPG" width="320" /></a><br />
<br />
Yesterday, I realized I also need this softness in my practice; the strength is not necessarily coming from hardness of my muscles, it is like my sweet friend Claire told me while we were waiting our planes at Bangalore airport, it comes from a soft smile, from a soft space within… to much holding of my muscles is actually stopping me to use the strength I have… it was very interesting to discover…</div></div>Ahuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15883711690217763845noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27228973.post-18641002695372032402011-05-21T19:54:00.002+01:002011-05-21T19:54:41.895+01:00time to write!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><!--StartFragment--> <br />
<div class="MsoNormal">Time to write for me…<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>so long it has been.. I keep starting to write and then leave it half way…<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have to write to completion.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal">I am home for more than a month now.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I began teaching Mysore classes again and it is such a blessing!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I see how much I missed to share what I am receiving from my teachers.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Every teaching is a teacher for me, every student is a new interaction to learn from.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am starting to drop expectations and just do what I love to do without interfering with the monkey mind :P<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is not always easy, hoping more people would show up, hoping the already existing ones will take upon the practice with big enthusiasm, etc…<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>but have to learn to stay with what is here and now and just do the best I can… the rest will follow, whatever is suppose to come will follow… have to stay present with faith.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I was very happy to get back home after more than seven months.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had a long journey.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Mysore days were wonderful.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was hard to leave…<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then, some traveling to Thailand, which is beautiful, and Sri Lanka with gorgeous beaches…<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After two months of due time, back to India again, to Goa.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Studying with Rolf and Marci one more time, such blessing to be with them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Goa, is the second home, Mysore is the second home… hard to choose between those two.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But the best part of all was to feel that home is the home, I mean Istanbul is the home for now.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was happy to miss Istanbul finally and have some enthusiasm to make somethings work here.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">So here I am for a while.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Until August I teach, a little break and then teaching again and maybe a Mysore trip.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Practice in the mornings feel good.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am feeling that I am getting more skilled each time with working on things that I get from my teachers.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Bringing back homework, coming home with things to work on.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Change does not happen over night or sometimes not even in a month, it can take months, years.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But each study I take with my teachers give me something to work on.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Before, I would have the tendency to expect big changes during each study, and sometimes I would feel disappointed… now I see that it does not work like that… the journey is long, and it requires patience, diligence and dedication.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And I love the journey!</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">By the way, I am thinking of moving to wordpress... any opinions about that?</div><!--EndFragment--> </div>Ahuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15883711690217763845noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27228973.post-83707359243548055522011-05-14T19:11:00.000+01:002011-05-14T19:11:55.339+01:00some of us in Istanbul...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-PSdHV9zdSh4/Tc7Cx0YMFSI/AAAAAAAAACs/QoNlNeAYSNo/s1600/IMG_0144.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-PSdHV9zdSh4/Tc7Cx0YMFSI/AAAAAAAAACs/QoNlNeAYSNo/s320/IMG_0144.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-5zi9XW5e6Xk/Tc7C4ZiBmNI/AAAAAAAAACw/qryI5RF19Cc/s1600/IMG_0150.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="239" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-5zi9XW5e6Xk/Tc7C4ZiBmNI/AAAAAAAAACw/qryI5RF19Cc/s320/IMG_0150.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-sxI6qU9nE08/Tc7C-nUEkNI/AAAAAAAAAC0/U_mhNgLV-7w/s1600/IMG_0151.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="239" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-sxI6qU9nE08/Tc7C-nUEkNI/AAAAAAAAAC0/U_mhNgLV-7w/s320/IMG_0151.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Cw93Icy9QH8/Tc7C_iW6GyI/AAAAAAAAAC4/2IDMHRNn2X8/s1600/IMG_0169.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Cw93Icy9QH8/Tc7C_iW6GyI/AAAAAAAAAC4/2IDMHRNn2X8/s320/IMG_0169.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Yzq96Oel_rg/Tc7DAed5jRI/AAAAAAAAAC8/9KzZMLDr1iY/s1600/IMG_0176.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Yzq96Oel_rg/Tc7DAed5jRI/AAAAAAAAAC8/9KzZMLDr1iY/s320/IMG_0176.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Ma7nC-S5xjE/Tc7FtCnorUI/AAAAAAAAADI/tGWn1chz_0o/s1600/IMG_0177.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Ma7nC-S5xjE/Tc7FtCnorUI/AAAAAAAAADI/tGWn1chz_0o/s320/IMG_0177.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-5uNTW3fgs8A/Tc7EoGA--wI/AAAAAAAAADA/eTNgwi8O9cg/s1600/Flora.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-5uNTW3fgs8A/Tc7EoGA--wI/AAAAAAAAADA/eTNgwi8O9cg/s320/Flora.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
</div>Ahuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15883711690217763845noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27228973.post-3502944078643136392011-02-03T06:14:00.000+00:002011-02-03T06:14:45.631+00:00after all made it back!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">Soooo I am in Goa! that took a while, ha? Well, I am happy to be here now. Finally, I made it. It was a long process and I don't think I would do it this way again, I mean I would not be travelling around India, waiting two months to be able to get back to India... but this was a good experience as well. I have seen places I have not been to before or been to but did not remember because it had been 19-20 years since I went to Bangkok... Now I know few places that I want to visit again and explore even further and some places to avoid... and then also learning to not do this two month out of India until I can go in thing. Next time, if I want to be back two months later, I would just go home and come back, and in the mean time, there are zillions of things I can do while at home. Well, this summer was tough for me and then I made this travel plan... but now I am gathering my confidence and organizing myself better... On the other hand, I say again that it was a good learning experience... I learned I cannot travel around this long, it is alright when I go somewhere to travel for 10 days or when I go places like Mysore, Goa and settle down for few months but from one place to another and then to another for couple of months is too ungrounding for me. I do not like it and I also start getting health problems such as dental ones :s It is kind of like my astro reading, "painless lessons", (well tooth ache is pretty painful but you get it, it is not the worst thing that can happen)I am learning about what is optimal and what is not for me, and what is worth and what is not worth doing, what is enjoyable and what is not and kind of why the hell I decided that... <br />
<br />
<br />
The dental stuff as always creeping out... Just before I was going to leave Bangkok for India. The last two days which includes also the day I leave I had to get a root canal. Ok, I could have left it with the emergency care they would do but then I did not know any good dentist in Goa and I was planning to stay for few months... Therefore, I asked them if it was possible to do more treatment so I could last longer wherever I go... The dental hospital and the dentist seemed all good, so I felt safe. But after I got to India last Wednesday, a journey which had few challenges in it (I will tell those in a minute), my tooth began aching. I was not really expecting this since I was so confident with the treatment that was done in Bangkok. It was hard to sleep at night, and also I caught some cold while travelling, so on top of a tooth ache, I also had stuffy nose which would not let me breath at night :p Luckily, Rolf and Marci know a good dentist here who has her office very close to where we are! And Friday, after aching bum bum bum, I called this dentist and made an appointment for the next morning. And the same night, the ache began getting milder to my surprise because previous days, it was always getting more intense during the night. The next morning, it was again not so bad and then I went to see the dentist. She looked at the x-rays and then told me that the root canal was done properly but because it was done so intensely in two days and even the day I was going to fly and then flying without giving it a chance to heal, the area was probably inflamed. She told me that I am suppose to keep taking the medicines I was given by the dentist who has done the work and also anti-inflammatory medicines... I am very relieved with this news, because after all that, my whole mission was to get back to India to study with R&M and just as I get back, not feeling well was a doomer... <br />
<br />
The journey from Bangkok to Goa was another thing. As I arrived to Bangalore in the middle of the night at 12 AM, I went form International to domestic flights terminal. After a cup of tea, I went over to the screen to check my flight which was suppose to be at 6:15 AM the same morning. I was planning to lounge at the airport until then; however, I could not see my flight even though all these other flights that were around the same time were listed. I asked a man who was working at the check in lines and he said "Madam it is too early that is why it is not listed, 3 hours before the flight it will be there" I told him how come all these other flights which were at 6AM - 7 AM were listed. At that point, he also got suspicious and told me to go over to the Kingfisher office and ask the lady there. So, I did and the lady also told me the same thing the man told me in the first hand and when I pointed out the obvious that other flights were listed she went inside to make a call and then came with the news "Madam that flight is cancelled, they tried to contact you but they could not reach you" I was devastated. I said "how did they contact me? I did not get any email or text message", she told me they tried to call me, they called 3 times. But I always get emails or text messages regarding the status of my flight, I might not be always available to pick up the phone. Of course I should have also made sure that the flight was on before hand which is something I usually do but neglected it this time, I guess I did not want to hear any bad news since I was so much wanting to reach Goa.... She told me that they will try to put me on another flight but then there were no morning flights even with other airlines due to something that was going on in Goa. The earliest was 4PM. Hearing that I kept asking "but what I do here so many hours, I did not arrange anything?" At the end, they decided to give me most of my money back so I would be compensated and also they gave me a boarding pass for the 4PM flight. That was really nice of them. Then I went and got a hotel room which had to be in Bangalore city because according to the man at the airport who had info regarding hotels, all the hotels by the airport were booked. The new Bangalore airport is a bit away from the city, and in a bad traffic day, it can take a long while so this made me a bit stressed out about getting back to the airport but I was too tired to stay in the airport and sleep on a chair. Therefore took the chance and went to Bangalore. Got to the hotel recommended by the man at the airport. The receptionist was a bit annoying at 3AM in the morning. I began filling the papers and then someone called and I guess yelled at him for something because he kept saying no sir you did not call me and then he turned to me and wanted my passport and I said here it is he said ok you can go to your room, I said I am not leaving my passport here, he said I will send it in 2 minutes I said no I am waiting here please do what you need to do. I did not want to wait for anything when I go up to the room, I wanted to crash and also I am not comfortable with leaving my passport to anyone. Ha! so, then he made a call and start ordering chicken tandoori, bla bla tandori, a very long list of food at 3AM in the morning! I was getting pissed that he was making me wait in the middle of the night, a customer comes to check in and he is busy ordering food for I guess that man who yelled at him on the phone... It was like Welcome India already, but it was ironic ya? dying to get back to India for two months, and I as soon as I arrive I had to deal with Indian ways that drive me crazy :p. But I had a decent room, I went to bed straight away, I was hang over from being up so late. I did not have a good sleep because I was kind of nervous about where I was, if it was safe, why there wasn't a chain on my door? so whenever I heard a noise from the hall way, I would jump... but it was fine after all. I did not sleep so long. I woke up around 8:30AM and took a shower which was nicest thing about staying there. They had breakfast so I went down, they had idli, coconut chutney, sambar, some of that fried things and then some fruits, and some western stuff. I could not pass idly and coconut chutney. After breakfast, I asked the lady at the reception "Coffee Day around here?" and she told me at the end of the road. SO I walled down and found the Coffee day, and had a decent cup of coffee. Walked back to the hotel and when it was time for me to leave I thought the driver who dropped me off last night would pick me up but he was nowhere around. He asked me if he should come and I said yes at 1PM. But he did not show up! so I panicked. I was at that point really getting anxious, as if everything was against me reaching Goa, more I wanted to get there more things were going wrong, so I was also seeing that I had to relax a bit (if I could). But I had to push the hotel receptionist to get me a cap soon otherwise they were saying "45 minute later madam"! It is so weird, in any big city, as far as I know, you get a taxi in a minute unless it is super rainy, snowy, stormy... well I got a cap in 15 minutes and left for the airport and of course they charged me much more than the night before because it came in 15 minutes not 45minutes, India, well I managed to get it down 100 rupees.... They also called that driver who was suppose to pick me up to see why he did not come. He told them I did not want him to come which was not true. I told him to come but when he asked for my room number I said no need for room number you come I will be here downstairs... I felt nervous with giving such details in the middle of the nigh at some place I did not know and did not necessarily feel safe... but he interpreted it as I do not want him to get me back to the airport. <br />
<br />
Well, after all this, I arrived to Goa! I got my flight, it flew right away, got a cab and came to the familiar land, to my home! I walked to the guest house where I am staying. The late afternoon I arrived, I left my bags to the room and I immediately ran to the beach since I knew Rolf would be there for the sun set and for sure he was. I hugged him big and I was so , but so happy to see him! Thursday I practiced in my room and began practicing with everyone else with the led class on Friday. The shala they built is really nice, I like it a lot. The floor is a bit uneven at some places but it does not matter so much for me, after I begin practicing it feels just okey and then when I am with my teachers and other practitioners, it really does not matter where I practice, if the floor is uneven or not... it is very simple and beautiful just like himself! <br />
<br />
This year I am staying at the guest house in front of the one I usually stayed... I have a nice room and a balcony kitchen! I am close to the shala. I am happy, I am so at home! I am so thankful! the tooth ache left me after the weekend... I know few people, some of whom I know are not staying around, I guess they are at Vagator, Arjuna... It is peaceful, nice.<br />
<br />
The practice is epic again since Rolf does not split people until after Karandavasana. I am at Pincha; therefore, I have to do the whole primary and the intermediate until pincha. Rolf said, arms are stable but the core needs to be more stable... drawbacks of being so flexible at the back... but it will come, just practice and ease into where I am and be there, and I guess this is true with everything, everywhere...</div>Ahuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15883711690217763845noreply@blogger.com2