Friday, July 31, 2009

Vacation month for Istanbul begins

I have been not writing… because I was busy and lazy and a bit down and then up…
After the food poisoning, as I mentioned Jen was here last week … it was very nice to have her. She was an easy going and fun guest to have. We cooked together, so I was fed better last week ☺. Then I took her to do the island to visit my parents; that went really well also. It was very good for my parents to meet another ashtangi; therefore, they see that there are other people like me and they are normal, nice people. After the island trip, we went to Grand Bazaar and the Spice Bazaar. Boy, that day was really hot! It was the peak heat of July! But we managed. Jen and I are very similar when it comes to shopping, we do not like to wander around many hours, going into every store; we both like to go to one or two stores, get what we like and be done with shopping. Otherwise it is too overwhelming… I think she enjoyed Istanbul and I hope she will visit sometime in the future again. Now she is in Barcelona, improving her Spanish…

With me… This week, I was really full power. I don’t know where it all came from, especially after a sickly week. Last week, when I practiced for the first time on Thursday after recovering, I was feeling so weak. I did the half primary on Thursday and Friday; my legs were all shaky during standing postures… how one can loose so much strength in few days! I guess with not proper nutrition, all the sickness and no practice, it is like this. However, after couple of days, the energy picked up incredibly. I was surprised myself. I guess this showed me few things: 1) being healthy makes a big difference in our lives. 2) When one is weak, the practice is hard. 3) Not be afraid of loosing… The second one was good to realize how beginners feel because until now I honestly forgotten how standing postures can be so tough! The third one was good to realize that we can get sick or not able to practice due to circumstances but it is all okay, it all comes back when we are able to get back to our mat again. Learning…

What else? Well, this week was considerably quite, not many students. Yes, that month of the year is already here: the vacation month! I thing I will not be here next year at this time. I should try to move my traveling to do the summer time! Now, I am just trying to stay present and not to get discouraged. It is tough these days for me; maybe the planets are making though alignments or something, or it is just I having hard time just being, stop criticizing myself. Much to let go… THe good news is that I will go to Lesvos island for a week in August with my sister... that will be a good vacation for me!

Now the plan is castor oil bath tomorrow! I got the oil last weekend from the Spice Bazaar. I read the Kimberly Williams article about the bath… I have no soap nut powder nor green powder, so I hope I will be able to was it off with regular shampoo and soap…

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Food Poisoning 2...

I got food poisoning on Sunday, which got me off from my mat and teaching and writing my blog. This is how it happened: I woke up in the middle of the night, feeling nauseas and went “o ohh, is it happening again?” But then weird enough, when I woke up at 5 in the morning, I was feeling well and I did my whole practice with no problem… Then taught my led class all full power; however, during breakfast, I realized I was having difficulty drinking my coffee which I enjoy so much everyday… And after a while, I realized the coffee was sitting up in my stomach with all other stuff and I drank some water but still they were sitting up and then I ended up throwing all up… and began feeling weak, so I carried myself to my bed… After a while, I thought I would get some yogurt and boil some rice and have a simple meal with these. I got the yogurt, boiled the rice, had a bit of that… Yet, they did not stay in the stomach either and at the end, each time I got up from my bed, I was throwing up and I realized that I was having a slight fever… I texted one of my students, who have the key to the shala, that I would not be able to teach in the morning and if she could please open the door for regular students to come and practice and put a note on the door that I am sick… My sleep was very unsettled… I woke up with nausea and headache, and actually could not lift my head from the pillow and then my mom came around noon, she brought some bread and honey so I had simple toasted bread with some honey and tea… but that was also hard to settle in the stomach, I was feeling like something was being squeezed inside all the time… I threw up again and then diarrhea… great combo! Then my mom decided that we should go to the hospital, which is luckily so close by. The doctor at the hospital examined me and made the diagnosis that I had food poisoning. They gave me serum and while that was going in, they ran some blood and stool tests. From the results of these tests, he decided to give me antibiotics. I know many of us do not like taking antibiotics but this time I did not resist at all. The only thing is that, this antibiotic is hard on my stomach also!? I guess it kills whatever is bad and also good inside… I did not go teaching yesterday either, I was still not fully recovered, nauseas and light headed. Today was new moon; therefore, I got a good rest.

Well, I am not sure what got me so sick. But I feel like it was something I ate home more than outside and the suspect is the homemade yogurt. The last one I did, did not settle so well, and also there was power shortage, so figure… Then I guess my too much thinking, worrying mind was a commencer as well… well I am hoping to be learning from all this… This is my second serious food poisoning. The first one was in Pune... then also my mind was confused with what I want to do and what I want not to do...

Now, my friend Jen with whom I met in Goa is here. She arrived last night. It is very nice to have her here, it took my mind form being sick and I am recovering much faster than I would if I were alone. Blessings to the practice and all the wonderful people I meet through the practice.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Gypsy music and some more...

Ohh, I meant to write this earlier… about last Friday. I went out with few friends to listen to Gypsy music and dancing. One of my friends is a scriptwriter and she is working on a TV series about Gypsies, so one of the things she had to do was to listen to Gypsy music, meet the musicians and the dance teacher. She asked us to go along with her and we were all for it since this sounded so interesting. I went to the island to see my parents but came back the same day to go out with them, even I, the unsocial one did such an effort to be there! And I think it was worth it. The music was really good and it was fun to dance to it. The dance teacher was dancing really well, and since Gypsies are originally from India, his dance was very similar to Indian people’s dancing, which I really enjoyed!

This week is going well. I was very energetic and happy in the beginning of the week. My energy is a bit lower now, but the mood is still good. Yes, I am pretty satisfied with the Mysore classes. They picked up, eventually my efforts begin to pay off! I am a bit exhausted… luckily, in mid-August, I will have a bit of a break… so, I need to apply for a visa again… being a Turk is not easy, need a visa to almost everywhere. I think I say this a lot…

On the other hand, my own practice is ok, but needs more power. Power! Maybe the holiday will help.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Impatience is the...

This week has been really hot… it makes a sticky practice… I do not sweat so much since I practice much earlier and alone, so only the heat of one person in the room but while teaching the sun is in the studio, students get really wet with sweat and even I sweat… can be a bit overwhelming but I guess the heat opens the body more… so it is all good.

Middle of the week, I decided to go back to the doctor I have seen couple of months ago about the injury I have inside the knee. Well, figure this out, I was supposed to take the medicine he prescribed to me for a month while I only took it for a week. Misunderstanding is understandable since it was mercury retrograde when I saw him back then. First of all, he told me that these kinds of injuries take 3 to 6 month to recover fully, which is good to know. He examined me again and the only pain is inside my leg over the femur bone. Then, he went over the MRI pictures with me more thoroughly and showed the place where I have the pain, which is the bone, and over it is the inflammation. I asked him whether I was suppose to not do anything when he told me to rest it because I have done yoga and “tried” (sometimes unsuccessfully because of impatience) to not do things that hurt it… He told me to be free to do anything which does not hurt it. He also told me two other options to heal it which are much more extreme solutions than I would go for and he was not suggesting, just informing. One is this medicine with very strong side effects (he would not even tell me the side effects!!!); they give it to you and you stay in the hospital for 3 to 5 days (due to side effects I guess) and then you go out and do your yoga or whatever as if you have had no problem before. The second one is operation; they suck out the inflammation. Well, of course, I am sticking with just anti-inflammatory medicine and being “patient” since this is my karma yoga for the season!

The funny thing is that I began reading “Ka Stories of the Mind and Gods of India” and few pages into it I found myself reading these lines “…impatience is the only sin.” Well I should get the message already… everything in my life pointing towards this. By the way, I have only read few pages from the book but it seems to be fantastic… very excited, so I better go back to it.

By the way, the decision for August is going with sister to Afroz. I will not do the Satori since swimming is not allowed. I think it would be really good/healing for my body and mind and soul to soak in beautiful salty waters of Lesvos island… I will do the 3-day mediation chanting group which should be fun!

Sunday, July 05, 2009

I would be...

Rest of the week, my energy was high. Waking up was a bit slowww due to the heat, which do not let one sleep properly… But, after few Surya Namaskars, my energy has expanding and I would be wide-awake. The achy part near the left knee has been better with my own before sleep therapy, which consists of moksha (my sister got them from Dr. Passang while in Pune, they are incense sticks looking like cigars that you hold near where you have aching, swelling, etc.) and maha narayan taila oil on the achy part and massaging each foot with little sesame oil for about 10 minutes. I believe massaging the feet is especially good because they are all connected right? Feet, knees, hips. If one begins to open up, relax, then the others would also benefit from that. This is my strategy. Therefore, with all this, slowly getting better, but then on Friday, I got over excited and attempted to do Marihchyasana B and D properly. With D, after couple of breaths, I decided this was not a good idea yet because the pain was biting. Well, rest of the day it was a bit achy. Patience is the key! I cannot believe myself that I am still not getting this! I would be my worst student! I have to confess I am not as caring with I am with myself as I am with my own students! This is neither good nor smart! I know I know I know! I apologize from myself and I promise to take care! Now, it is good and I am being patient.

With classes, thing are going fine. Consistency is almost there. Still people are going to vacation and coming back but it has been all right.

Then… I am thinking of doing Satori in Afroz. They have one in the beginning of August. My sister and I have been planning to go to Afroz for a week. She will assist her teacher with a 3 day chanting and meditation course and I was thinking I might do that course. However, yesterday I suddenly had the idea that since I want to do a Vipassana course so much, I can do the Satori instead for the time being. I will see what will be the final decision; it all depends on whether we are allowed to swim once in a while during… and of course to the cost.