Wednesday, April 18, 2007

be present...

Ohh I am so anxious, so excited, so and so and so… about this summer. I cannot wait for the end of May, then I will be going for my teaching training and then to Afroz Osho center!! But what is wrong with me, why cannot I be in the present, why is this need for jumping forward, what is wrong with present day? I am in no good mood today and I know it is all in my head. I am constantly hungry, sleepy, and headachy. Manju Jois coming next week. It will be a tiring week, not that the practice will be any different for me, probably would be much better but it will be always in the evening. That is what puts me in this mood actually. I need my practice in the morning like I need my coffee in the morning. I know they are not perfectly similar but that is what it is. Today I am going to Eric’s led class which begins at 7:30 pm so this is the reason why I am not aligned… I keep nagging Eric about Mysore classes and he says he would like but Can would not (the owner of the shala) because of financial reasons. Maybe he just says this to shut me up because Eric is no early riser for a fact, so that might be another reason for lack of Mysore classes…
Today the new shala began operation, its name is YogaIst, (I call it the ghetto yoga shala) it is still part of yoga shala but also it is separate somehow… Well, more old school shala meaning square room, no shower, no receptionist, teacher handles everything. I teach on Sundays at 11 over there. It is located in Galata, which is nice old part of Istanbul…
This is it from me for today since I am no fun… still need to learn to be present and accept things as they are. Everything is as it should be in the universe, right?

Sunday, April 08, 2007

Issues or practice?

This week, in addition to my own classes, I also taught Eric’s two basic ashtanga classes. I like teaching but it is also like practice, not the same every time. So, some days it goes really well, I feel like the class is in harmony, but some days it feels like something is off… On Tuesday morning, it was the first time I was teaching Eric’s class so I was a bit nervous even tough it is much easier to teach ashtanga since most people already know what asana comes next… I was nervous because people who came to that class met me for the first time and they were kind of “himmm, who is this?” Then, one of them thought I was a foreigner, and spoke to me in English until I replied to her in Turkish. Sometimes, I think that a lot of people here trust foreigners to be expertise in whatever they do more than our own nationals, which is kind of sad. This is the same in everything not just in yoga, which is just flowering in Turkey. My sister would come across the same problem in photography, someone would get all the jobs just because he was an American… but you know what, I really want to be a good teacher, and I will become one. no need to consider my nationality, especially since I do not give a damn about having one… I believe in being a world citizen! Where this all came from now? Sometimes I wander off a bit too much…
On Thursday evening, a guy who usually comes for the gentle class joined my class. He had such hard time during down dogs I felt really anxious. I kept saying “please go to child pose if you are getting too tired”… I donnu what else I could have suggested. I guess I have to learn not to feel so bad when someone is having hard time. It is a process, right? I used to have hard times with some of the asanas which are no problem for me now, and I have hard time with some others now i.e. Bakasana , which will eventually be no problem at one point…
Yesterday, I was telling mom that Sharon Gannon told us during the workshop that if one has problems with Vrksasana (tree pose) or Utthita Hasta Padangusthasana or any standing balance asanas, that indicates that they have unresolved issues with their parents. Of course, mom went on to say “ I don’t understand you (meaning me and my sister), you always have a problem with us, other people’s kids, bla bla bla…” I really cannot stand sentences with OTHER PEOPLE’S KIDS. It is just ridiculous and uckily, I never remember saying “other people’s parents…” But Sharon was talking to the whole class which consisted from 30 people not only me. Anyways, the curious thing for me is I have no problem with Utthita Hsstga Pdangusthasana anymore (yes, I used to have before) since I do it everyday but when I am asked to do another kind of standing balance then I have a problem… so what does this tell? Is it really issues with parents or just practicing the same asana regularly?

Sunday, April 01, 2007

Happenings in Istanbul

So I have been away from writing for a while and it is time to share a bit… I began teaching and it is getting better. The first two classes, I was nervous… but then I began relaxing with the third and it began getting better. I even have regular students, so I enjoy it… By the way, I use my sanyas name which I have taken while in Osho ashram, it is Maya, well Deva Maya is my full sanyas name…
On the other hand, Eric had his ashtanga foundation course. We (me and some toher teacher’s from Yoga Sala ) all participated and it was fun and I think I became more aware of bandhas. There were also two of Eric’s friends from the US, Josh and Jeane, who came for the workshop. They were very nice people and I think Jeane will come back as a visiting teacher! Right after Eric’s course, David Life and Sharon Gannon came for a workhop at Cihangir Yoga .. It was really great to have them. This was my first time doing Jivamukti Yoga and I enjoyed it; though, I still like ashtanga practice better. What I enjoyed was the freedom to explore asanas that I have not reached yet and the preps that David and Sharon made us do before hand. I also liked their emphasis on the spiritual side of the practice; actually, probably that was the best thing I received from 4 days I spent with them. I guess one tends to forget why we do what we do with our bodies and I was very happy to be reminded of that. This used to be a big part of my practice in the beginning, while I was in London, but I somehow wandered away from it… I think it happened in Mysore (strangely enough!). So, I am grateful to David and Sharon for reminding me why initially I got into yoga so deeply! I have to mention the strangest moment for me during their workhop. Sharon came to me during Virabatrasana A , pulled my hands and told me that I loose the connection between my hands and my heart and that is why I keep saying things over and over but no one hears me, that I do not have my heart in what I say… She said Virabatrasana A helps with this. I wonder if that is the case, I mean with me, not with Virabatrasana A helping with it.
The other thing is I am planning to do a teacher training. It seems like I will do a training with Tias Little . I also considered Donna Farhi ; however, her training was already full. I got into their wait list but then Tias Little’s (my second choice) training had only 2-3 spaces left, so not to miss all my opportunities, I signed up for his training. Now, I got an email from Donna Farhi training, saying that they have an opening! What to do? I guess I will stick with Tias Little. If anyone have any suggestions…
Eric is gone to NY for ten days, so I will also take over two of his ashtanga basic classes while he is away. This is all for now.