Monday, July 31, 2006

Wednesday is the beginning of a new journey maybe!?

I think with the last asana being assigned to my primary series practice I had a confidence boost with my backdrops. Maybe they will come along soon…
Sunday, I did this mini cleanse, only had two little boiled apples and boiled broccoli. I know some people eat nothing, they do a proper fast but I think I am in no shape to that, especially with my coffee addiction. I did self practice at home and then tried the survive the whole day with a headache and a squeezing stomach… I realized how much I consume in a day so that I have much more energy! I thought I would be pretty okay with broccoli and apple; maybe if I had coffee also… but then it would not serve the purpose… Well, I survived the morning practice at the studio this morning, little dizzy and weaker… My teacher came to my place for lunch. So, I will begin helping her with adjustments this Wednesday. The plan is I helping her every Wednesday from 6:30 am till 7:30 am when it is the busiest; then I will do my own practice. My only concern is people freaking out because my teacher forgot to announce that I will be helping her last Friday before the talk through… Maybe it is time to get out of my shell and just be…

Thursday, July 27, 2006

Complete primary

Monday we, all the yogis form morning self practice, went for a picnic at London Fields, using the opportunity to be able to hang out late because of Moon day on Tuesday. It was very nice, everyone brought a dish and so we had plenty of food and good conversation. Tuesday was a new moon which is always good to start a new project etc… I just want to begin writing my dissertation and be done with it on time. Besides all this pleasent times in daily life, I still cannot be completely free of taking things personally. At the moment, I am hurt/angry and feeling deceived by someone… but this is how life and people are… I should be toughing up at this stage and be able to ignore frustrating stuff…
The good news about my practice is that my teacher added the last asana, setu bandhasana, to my practice! Yes, so complete primary serious. Time to get those back drops without any help. Well, there is no rush, it will happen when I am ready. But then I cannot do without thinking how they will probably stop me in the middle of primary at Mysore... Other than all this, it is really hot and humid in London so very sweaty practice we are having.

Sunday, July 23, 2006

Dreams, inner voice and all...

After a brief break, my ashtanga dreams seem to be making a come back. This morning I had this dream in which there was this guy from high school whom I did not enjoy much by then. I will not go into details about why I did not like him because they seem irrelevant now but the thing is in my dream he was asking me that he wants to meet/know a Guru, and I told him to check out ayri website and read about Guruji, hoping that he might want to follow ashtanga path. This dream seemed weird at first but then it made so much sense. I guess it was telling me to stop being judgmental of people and underestimate them and maybe, to introduce them to ashtanga practice which is changing my life for the better.
Another thing, which has been an eye opener for me today, was re-listening to the Astrological reading I had from this lady at the end of last year. In the tape she sent me, she is telling me that I need to bring spirituality into my daily life to be whole within myself. She stresses that the key is having it daily and that my self-identity is based on this. I just realized that I found what she is talking about, my daily ashtanga practice, and also I realized why I am so obsessed about it because, as she says, it is the key to my self-identity and the spiritual flavor I need in my life... Moreover, she is telling me to trust my intuitive mind, my inner voice. I guess I can listen to her and have no doubt about my decision to spend three months in Mysore after I am done with this program in September. I just have this feeling that going to Mysore will, in some way, lead me to where I need to be, what I need to be doing next… I know it sounds crazy or too wishful but I have been having this feeling so strongly for so long, I cannot ignore it.
Anyways, this morning I did Sunday practice at home again (now London home) but I terribly miss practicing at Yoga Place, so looking forward to tomorrow morning…

Friday, July 21, 2006

Self practice in Istanbul

Spend almost a week at home, in Istanbul and I am proud of myself because I practiced every morning! The reason I made this trip home is because I broke one of my teeth and I am really paranoid of going to dentists other than mine after what happened in NYC four years ago. As a result, I had to have a dental surgery on my lower jaw, in which they had to drill into my bone… Ok, enough of my teeth problems.
Tuesday I went to Yogasala , thinking that they had a led ashtanga class because there was a visiting teacher who was supposedly teaching ashtanga. The schedule said, “open” and that usually means all levels… So, I went but then it turned out that people like vinyasa flow classes better (?!) so she did vinyasa flow. What I think about the class… well, it was fine, since it was a change… but then you know some of it just seems like aerobic movements and then she was pulling postures from ashtanga here and there. But what is so good in ashtanga is that each postures prepares, leads you to the next one! But when you pull postures from here and there you are not really there yet! You are not warmed up, opened up enough… This is my personal opinion. Maybe I a bit bias…
Anyways, today I am flying back to London. I miss practicing at the studio, with people so much! It makes such a big difference, so much more motivating… and of course having my teacher help me with postures, especially with backdrops! Yes, did no backdrops this week… but did my backbends.
Okay, another thing I did not mention is that last week my teacher asked if I want to help her with adjustments in class! Yes, this was a big shocker for me! But very exciting at the same time. She will first show me how to…

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Happy Birthday Guruji!

Today is 91st birthday of Sri K. Pattabhi Jois! And also a moon day, so no practice but of course I practiced sufficiently in my dream. Yes, what is up with me dreaming about ashtanga almost every night? Sometimes I get really overwhelmed with this excitement. I guess something is changing within me, I am not sure what it is but all my energy is being channeled to a different direction that I am about to discover or already at the process of discovering. Well, I guess it all makes sense, all these things are happening just before my Saturn return, which is all about leaving dysfunctional habits, jobs, friendships and so on behind; it is about pruning one's life. If I am not wrong, I believe this fits well with ashtanga yoga, which initially prunes our bodies and then our minds and then our lives... The other week, when I was talking to my teacher, I mentioned if there is something wrong with being so obsessed with our practice and she told me how she was when she first began (practicing twice a day!) And then she said that there is time for everything and this can be time for you to be so focused on your practice. Since I practice absolutely whole-heartedly, with dedication and at the same time, with respect to my body, I guess it is the time for me to be so focused in my practice. On the other hand, I think practicing ashtanga has begun to change my perception in life. It gives me strength to see I end up doing postures that I thought it was impossible to do when I was first introduced to them… I just realize that with time, and with practice and patience, there should be so much we can accomplish in this world… Ohhh also, because of ashtanga I managed to begin meditating. It has always been a tough for me to meditate but I fear that if I don’t meditate, my practice might be lacking something… Well, I suppose whatever the reason one meditates for, it is always beneficial…

Friday, July 07, 2006

Practice, practice, practice

Not an eventful week... Practiced as usual. Well, also began Sunday practices (finally!). I was at my teacher’s place last Sunday morning, and we practiced together. It was quite good so I should do them myself at home from now on. This week, back drops continued. On Wednesday, my teacher said “you know I am just squeezing your hips, not holding you or anything…” But I have to get that in my head and be confident that I can do it, still I cannot picture it in my mind. I guess being able to visualize something is a big part of being able to do it… On the other hand, my headstands ( sirsasana ) are getting better, it is just time and building up some strength, balance, all that required to stay upright.
And I hope one day, while practicing, my mind will stop chattering...