Decisions...

I kept having some dreams about my coming up journey… So, tomorrow I will be off to Berlin! I am trying to stay calm and not expecting too much so no disappointments…
On Thursday, I woke up with no chest pain. My friend from London dedicated her practice to me on Wednesday, so I guess it really worked! At least, reading her mail which told me that she would do this, warmed my heart so much it probably melted down some stickiness, whatever I had in my chest… Well, it mildly came back after the practice but I now know that it is part of the change that I have made with my chaturangas….
Ohh with my chest x-ray I saw the reality about my spine! Well, actually, first my doctor pointed out (with a bit of scorn) look at your spine, doesn’t yoga fix that? And there it was my curved spine… Therefore, Tias was correct about my scoliosis. He actually spotted it the first instance he saw my headstand. I bow in front of such eyes. But does that mean that I will never able to reach enlightment since I will not be able sit with a straight spine in meditation :)))
Well, I also decided to go ahead and do Eric’s TT, since it is here and I am (hopefully will be here) here and it will hopefully add more to my skills. The first part, we have already done last March, the second part is 3 months long (on Saturdays plus 3 led classes during the week) and for the third part, Eric’s teacher Suddha will come from Chicago for a week. However, I still am not so sure about my decision… One reason is Tias coming in May for few days including the weekend and I really want to attend his workshops when he is here. I mean the man comes all the way from Santa Fe! Such an opportunity! So, I do not know if it is okey to I skip one weekend of the training… the other is the led classes… I wish he would make some of it self-practice classes instead of the led classes all the time. I mean if these people in the TT want to become teachers, they will need to develop a self-practice, rite? But Eric says people do not like it… but this is a bit weird… then maybe this should not be called TT… and why it is all about pleasing people? and he can add self-practice to regular schedule, not taking away from the led classes, but lazy maybe, huh? okey I know I am going of the edge. But this is how I feel. Maybe this training is not for me… ahhh…