Lodos, the wind...

I am not writing… then what am I doing, right? Well, I am watching, watching my thoughts… sometimes with a bit of embarrassment… I want to be more indifferent to some of the things, yes more. I watch the mind, I see how I get bothered, or anxious or suspicious. And I guess this is okey and honest.

Otherwise, the city has been under the wind, which we call Lodos. I don’t know if this wind occurs anywhere else than in Istanbul, but since my childhood I would hear my mom and then my sister blame their light-headedness, tiredness to Lodos. And now I do the same… Lodos is a warm wind, which churns the sea crazy and then after it is gone, there is rain, snow, something falling from the sky… Well, I think there has been lodos and I have been tired most of the time this week. Also hunger is there most of the time. Sometimes I wonder maybe it is not the lodos but something else like my friend Ewa had. She told me that she has gotten sick after staying in India so long; she was tired and hungry all the time no matter how much she ate and if I remember correctly, they figured out that she was having iron deficiency… Maybe I am dealing with something like that. Every morning I take spirulina+amla capsules, which we have bought in Auroville and also the wheat grass powder my sister got for me… I donnu… and on top of it all, I do not do the whole primary +half of second epic anymore, the longest I do is half primary with half second, which mean I should be okey energy wise… well, maybe it is the seasonal change…

The practice is good, bad, full on, full off… variable as you can get it. When I am at home, I do some circus ☺ as Rolf would put it. I try to do to Chakra Bandhasana by myself. So far, my left hand holds the left ankle then I walk it a bit up but with the right, I am not able to grab yet, it hangs out there :p Well, trying to do it yourself is a bit extreme maybe, but I know people can do it, and the backbends are no problem for me and it has been comfortable when Sharath helps me and my body knows how the stand feels, so I play around with it with a bit of fear of rolling down like hula hoop… Then, I try kicking to handstand in the middle of the room, sometimes one breath there and then I can come off from the side, which is a good thing to learn. When it comes to kicking with two legs as R&M would love to see me doing, I have been avoiding but today I start aiming for forward as Kino describes in her DVD so less panicky for me when I think forward… still lots of practice needed until I get it, but I have my whole life, no hurry, just keep practicing as always…

Then, Gail has arrived. For her, it is a whole adjustment to a new country, culture… She is sweet with a good sense of humor. Of course another virgo! We hang out sometimes… it is good to have a friend with whom I can talk Ashtangi stuff ☺ and also other stuff…