Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Bits...

Ohh well.. nothing so interesting lately... I have to say that I am a bit homesick these days... which is a healthy thing for me I guess. I have been struggling with being grounded lately. There is a bit of anxiety rising from wanting to go home but not exactly knowing how things will turn out when I am there. Maybe I should leave this to then, I mean I cannot really do anything about this now because it is a bit complicated... Anyways. Also, this journey I did not do much to stay grounded, not much effort to sit still, which is working against me. I used to be much better with making an effort to meditate and this time I have been very very lazy except some mornings sitting for 10 minutes. Actually, Osho Kundalini mediation to shake off my anxiety will work well.

The practice getting more settled, I am getting use to doing only second. The first few days were not easy, I was sore in many places as I mentioned but now soreness is gone but this time I have a bit off not so right sensation on my good knee also, which is worrying me but I am trying to be careful with it and not to over worry (if I can manage). but what is up with the knees!??! There was nothing with this one and then I began doing only second which is much more merciful on the knees but still something happens, I don't know what to make out of it. And something always happens here in Mysore, I wonder if there is some other reason to this beside the physical reality of it. uhh I donnu maybe not to read into it too much. Also maybe walking around too much with not so supportive sandals can be the cause... On the other hand, the intermediate led was still challenging second time and made me a bit nervous especially when Sharath came behind where I was during Bakasana! Ohh well, what to do, I try my best with Bakasana B but still I have to get more courage to jump high enough to not let top of the feet touch down...

By the way, I began Sanskrit Level I again. Lakshmish remembered me of course with his sharp memory... But he is still not giving homework, I want homework, it is so fun to do those things... he told me he will give me extra work since I have done this class before and I want to go beyond a bit more than level I. I also began studying what we have done with Richard in Boulder. I am listening to the recordings Sascha made. Of course sometimes I am lost because it is voice only and then Richard or Mary says you do this or that or the muscle is like this the bone turns this way... and if I do not remember what they are talking about I have no clue what they are saying :)... I should look up online to the photos people put up after the training, they might hold some light to me when I am lost.

Okey there is another thing. I have been going nuts about what to do when home, rite? and maybe I am saved from worrying about the first couple of weeks. After, arriving to Istanbul, few days later I might be covering P's morning Mysore classes for couple of weeks, so that will keep me busy. After that, maybe I can figure out what to do, how to do... there is no hurry really, why am I worrying so much? it is the Vata mind, needing some grounding.

1 comment:

Boodiba said...

It does sound like Vata! I think you're right maybe sitting & meditating would be good. I am LOVING the pranayama with Venki. I never thought I could sit without moving at all for that long. I'm not sure how I will fit it into my NYC life though. I am sure "daily" will be too hard to manage.

I have learned a LOT this trip but it hasn't been easy at times. I can't wait to be back at home in my regular life.

Take care of that knee! I kept pressing on for too long I think and now I have what seems like a deep seated issue. I haven't had one of those in years :(