I love being in a good mood!

At the moment, I am in a very good mood. Today, I learned that I passed all my exams! So, getting closer to go to Mysore. Yes, now my ultimate aim is to write a decent dissertation, hence complete my masters program properly, without disgrace, and then fly to Mysore and yes, I am saying it officially, I want to spend three months in Mysore.
My practice… My teacher added two more postures this week, so only one left to be doing the whole primary series. And the backdrops… did I mention the forehead drop that I did last week? Yes, my teacher asked me to the backdrop without her holding me and all I can remember is I was going down slowly and then suddenly I hit my forehead really loudly on the floor and I was there, lying on my back and my teacher was looking at me with worried eyes. She said, “That was really loud, are you okay? Are you dizzy, are you seeing stars?” Well, I was all right. Only, I woke up the next morning really early and kept going in my head “ how do they do it? It is impossible! How do you stay stable while going back?” Apparently, it is not impossible, but I need to work on them a bit more before I try them myself again… I asked what I did wrong since I don’t remember what happened. She said that I could not keep my arms straight after a point. Well, the thing is I go really slowly up to a certain point but after that point I go really fast, kind of loosing the control. Thus, I need to control all the way down and of course also believe that I can do it (Adam said “you fell really loudly : ) ! But your backdrops are really good, it is in your head, you need to be confident). On the other hand, headstands are getting better. Wednesday I stood up at free floating for about 15 breaths, okay I need to be doing them for 25 minutes. Ohh, then I have my little problem with bhuja pindasana . My feet, especially the right one gets stuck on the floor and I cannot lift it up, so I can move freely back and forth. I get stuck with my head on the floor each time and vigorously try lifting my chest, so I can move on to straightening my legs and then they take them back to chaturanga , you know it is time to be doing this!
I am so excited that I passed all my exams! Now, I am going off to a friend for a barbecue. I will also practice on Sunday; my teacher invited me to her house to practice together. Yes, I am now going for the formal 6 days a week!

Moving forward!

We all went to Adam’s workshop on Sunday, which was ashtanga primary series followed by a vegetarian buffet lunch cooked by him. (He is, besides being a yoga teacher, also a vegetarian chef.) Okay, we were not all there, some of us were there, and then, some other yogis who do not make it to morning Mysore courses. Yes, it was pretty crowded and we sweated whole lot!!! And afterwards, the food was really good, like my mom’s food (okay mom not quite like yours!). It turns out that his favorite food is Turkish, so flavors suited my taste buds well. Afterwards, Marsha and I went to flower market, then to London fields to lie down on grass and then picked up an Almodovar movie (The flower of my secret) and watched it at Marsha’s place. So, it was a great Sunday.
This week, practice is better; my strength is coming back. I began drop backs again, and today, I was even asked to it by myself, which I did in a sort of okay way. Alsoooo two more poses are added to my series, so three more left to be doing the whole primary series. I guess my teacher forgot that I could move forward and this is because I do the full series on Friday talk throughs. She might have assumed that I was already doing it all other days of the week as well. Last week, I had to remind her that I am waiting for her approval to go ahead, but she waited last week since I took a week off before. On Monday she added supta kona and today she added supta pada angustha. But still having funny problems with bhuja pida, I cannot put my head on the floor and lift my feet off the ground! I told my teacher I have issues with my feet and she said “you know it is all in your head, right?” I guess that is very true. We have so many funny images, and prejudices about our selves it is amazing. For instance, with supta kona, I always thought I could not come up without bending my legs. Monday, my teacher told me to do it without bending my legs, first I thought about telling her that I cannot but then decided to perform it so she can see that I cannot. However, it turned out differently. I saw myself that I can actually do it perfectly without bending my legs! See what I mean!

Nothing is for granted...

Today was my second day back in morning classes and I regretfully realized that in the past nine days that I have not practiced, my strength and flexibility diminished considerably :( Well, what to do? Nothing, just keep practicing. But then this gives me a second chance to revisit the phases I went through, and this time I might have a different journey, maybe more constructive one, since this will be the second stitch. When I mentioned my weakened flexibility and strength to my teacher, she smiled and added “also your balance”, and she said that it will take few weeks to get back to where I was. But then a friend from yoga who is also teaching ashtanga told me not worry because there is time, so many years of practice ahead… which was quite nice to hear. Yes I will practice so many more years, few weeks going back will not make such a big difference at the end…
However, it seems like I will not let my tattoo artist to touch my tattoo when I go to see him in July. He was talking about a possible touch up, changing yellow to light pink. I will insist that yellow is beautiful and nothing shall be changed… I guess he will figure out what is going on since he knows my obsession. He actually at one point grinned cunningly and said “but you know non-attachment, right?” Well, I bowed to that.
See how much I sacrificed for this chrysanthemum, it better last beautifully as long as I live.
One last thing before I finish. This morning before I woke up, I had this dream in which I was granted three wishes. I made the first two, then I had to make one another and I suddenly said that I want to be able to practice yoga forever. I don’t remember my first two wishes but this last one got stuck in my mind.

Dreams...

So, I could not practice this whole week which has been pretty painful for me. But the funny thing is that I had yoga dreams every night and the last one was about practicing with Guruji! Yes, I think yoga became a very important part of my life and I feel that I have to keep investigating further into it. By which I mean, perceiving yoga as not just physical practice but also as a life style. One of the things I realize so far is that how my physical practice is connected with my inner state. Also, I tried to practice by visualizing my practice. This is something I read in a newspaper, the article was talking about just general practice but then I remembered this yoga teacher who went through cancer treatment and got back practicing first with just visualizing her practice. I find this to be very meditative, just like yoga…
Anyway, my little sin on my left arm has shed first layer of skin (pretty colorful scabs all over the floor whole week) and now it is extremely itchy. Alex, the tattoo artist who has done my chrysanthemum, told me that until I can raise my arm without pain, for about a week, I should not practice and so he proved to be very precise! Yesterday was one week and I began raising my arm without pain. This means, hopefully I will be back practicing Monday, yes I cannot wait!

Got inked!

At last exams are over, and I am relieved… During this stressful time, I missed only one practice, the one before my morning exam. I am quite proud of myself. But then, for a painful celebration, I got a pretty chrysanthemum on my left arm/shoulder, so my poor left side would feel more feminine and embellished, without thinking that it would mean at least a week off from my practice!
By the way, I strongly believe that practicing helped me a lot while I was studying intensely. It would calm my mind down, especially just before exams when I tend to become more frantic. Once, I even mixed the order of the poses that I have been doing 5 times a week, which proves how my mind was preoccupied and out of order!
Therefore, I would recommend all to keep practicing, especially during times of intensity in other areas of your lives.
Now, I take a week of for my new adornment to heal, and so I will use this time as a chance to visit another town, Brighton, for a couple of days.