simply

Today is a snowy day :) It is lovely in some ways, of course kind of cold… but it is nice, different from my routine of last few years anyways… big flakes of snow now.  I went out in the noon to go to the organic farmers market, which is 30 minutes walking distance away…  It was watery snow while on the way there…  Walking was fine; cold but since one moves, it was not bad.  However, while I was shopping I took my gloves out to be able to pick the fruits and veggies and to pay…  At the end, I was in lots of pain, frozen fingers syndrome :p  At the time we got into the cab, I was really thankful that in this lousy weather, when there was some load to be carried with frozen fingers, taking a cab was possible J  and the cab driver was a nice man which makes a difference in the experience…

When we arrived, there was no electricity at home; it was cold and dark… I was very hungry; therefore, lack of electricity could not stop me from starting to make my soup.  So, I lighted up some candles and got going…  and at the end the lights came as well… but I realized one more time how much we are dependent on electricity, running water etc… this we are reminded a lot while in India… In Mysore, we would have electricity cuts for 3 times or so everyday and last time in Goa, we were having electric cuts almost every night…  you adapt to this…

Well another thing I realized today was connections…  I have been guilty of not embracing my country, culture, the religion I was born into.  How guilty? well not acknowledging it properly perhaps or refusing it in some sense...  As much as I believe in insignificance of where one is from in the case of relating to them, it is also important not to refuse where we come from; however, knowing this logically did not help my case…  But today I admitted something.  The connection I make with another Turk can be a bit different in some ways… Is it the same language we speak which makes communication easier and deeper or just knowing the similar experiences, same smells, same tastes, same songs or melodies, same jokes…  from childhood, from home, home of our roots, I am not so sure…  It was good to realize this, for one thing, remembering my roots …  No matter how much I do not live them myself, I know them, I relate easily and it moves something inside, like being home.  Also I realized that I might never have this kind of connection with a person from another country no matter how dear they are to me.  Maybe if they spend sometime here and experience the flavors of the daily life, the culture, they can understand like my dear Maria seems to… The good thing about realizing this was, I will not be disappointed if sometimes the connection with another from elsewhere has some gaps in it,  It is only natural…  but this is true with most connections we make.  This counts with my Ashtanga friends also.  The experiences I share with them is unique to that group, the connections I have with them is special in that context and I am not able to have the same kind of connection with others…  how I feel energized and feel home with them is also very special, different.  But today was about being in this country and realizing that I am from here.  I can relate to an old Turkish song, to its melody and words, and then walking in the back streets of Istanbul and feeling the oldness of the city and remembering how it used to make me feel nostalgic to sometime I never experienced while I was a teenager and used to write stories to that old Istanbul…  yes a special day like everyday… a snowy day.

outside from my window... kids so excited in the opposite building.