Yesterday was a slump practice, even though I woke up much earlier than my alarm clock. Usually, if I wake up earlier, it means I am full of energy but yesterday, everything was effort. I thought himm maybe after Tias workshop, I am out of tune… or lost it all… By now, you should know I am a bit black and white person, can suddenly imagine everything is gone… but of course I see that now and kind of smiled to myself and went on and I went on doing it all, Marcihyasana B and D even, after 2 weeks of knee caution. Well, that was maybe a bit too early, I could feel the knee afterwards… I did not stick to my plan of slowly introducing Janu Sirsanas this week, and not half lotus postures yet… Yes, I am bad in that regard. Well, this morning I got up early again, around the same time. I realized I kept having rocking and sliding dreams just like Tias’s workshop. I guess all that rocking and sliding have some meaning, some healing so that I absorbed them so deeply… or my beloved moon in pisces sucked up all the energy in that room in the weekend so this is the after effects… I woke up but this time full power. Yes, the practice was full power, I did Janu sirsasanas; with Marchyasana B and D, I chose to back of… My energy was high and big and so it was effortless practice. But I had to remember that most likely tomorrow will not be like this or maybe it will be… With the knee, I have to be patient, I see myself how I am prone to pushing it. Wait another few days!
I also had some after thoughts… He was telling me about their 500 hour program, since I have done the 200 hour. They have a week-long training right before I go to Boulder. I got excited first but then… I am just really turned off with his “the teacher” mode, the distance he puts, lack of heart… You know Rolf is such a big heart! Makes one feel utterly comfortable, accepted… With him, I feel awkward, I don’t know how to approach, to say something after all that studying I have done with him… looks very uninterested. And I know he is full of great information, great teaching… but that is all the mind… which will die. And I can get the information, I will get the information needed in some way, but I guess not from him for now. Maybe this is too bold to declare, maybe I might need to eat my words later on but I want to say how I feel right now!
I also had some after thoughts… He was telling me about their 500 hour program, since I have done the 200 hour. They have a week-long training right before I go to Boulder. I got excited first but then… I am just really turned off with his “the teacher” mode, the distance he puts, lack of heart… You know Rolf is such a big heart! Makes one feel utterly comfortable, accepted… With him, I feel awkward, I don’t know how to approach, to say something after all that studying I have done with him… looks very uninterested. And I know he is full of great information, great teaching… but that is all the mind… which will die. And I can get the information, I will get the information needed in some way, but I guess not from him for now. Maybe this is too bold to declare, maybe I might need to eat my words later on but I want to say how I feel right now!
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