So I turned 31 yesterday… it was a pretty dramatic day just because of the way I felt… I was sad because I was far away, well I am always far away from the people I connect with, from the people who are close to me. Yes, I have a problem of being disconnected from people in this city and having friends who are spread around all over the world… since I went away for college 13 years ago… (wow it has been 13 years!) Therefore, yesterday I felt really down in midday. I realized that there is something not working in my life. I am not able to be present in, able to settle down in, able to except the place I am from. What to do? I really have no clue anymore. Because I am trying hard to do something, I am working on what I love the most in my life here, hoping that something will come out of it which will make me enjoy this place but not really happening. I keep finding myself missing all these other countries I have lived in and I keep finding myself feeling stuck and hopeless here… Is it my attitude, or is it the impossibility of what I am trying to do or what? Now I feel like I am writing to one of those advice columns on newspapers!
Sorry for being such a downer… Well, my sister was great yesterday, she did everything to cheer me up and at the end she succeeded. We had good time going out, having a meal and all that. So, now I am 31… a pretty grown up age it looks to me. And in this new age, I wish to find peace within myself, I wish to be connected better, ohh I wish many things… and today is a new moon so the very right time to write down wishes, so I will do that… thinking carefully, writing my wishes.
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