I am very moody today, I guess it is the Path of Love nervousness or something… I am thinking now that 6 day process cannot do much… maybe will do a slight thing… maybe I will explode during POL, ha and they will all run out. But now I just want to be by myself.
Anyways… Yesterday, I was actually full power surprisingly after all the food I had during birthday. Birthday was okey… but I decided not to do such a party again here, I felt like a little kid. Maybe if I am away somewhere in India, I can be with friends, have a nice lunch… that would be lovely… sigh… I miss India so much. Actually I had enough of being here now, and now I think I don’t even want to come back… Ohh, I am so negative today and it is just the beginning of the week. Well, this morning I was very sleepy when I woke up and during the whole practice I was low energy as oppose to yesterday. The point is everything changes as I see in my practice from one morning to the other... so my thoughts will also change about being here and there, etc....
Then, I am getting all excited as I read Susananda’s blog about Sharath’s workshop in London, but there is still time for me to be in Mysore and who knows if Sharath will be there teaching… nobody.
Okey maybe I should not blog when I feel like this. I should sit back and read something and get my mind off the negativity… or sit with it and see which is more real as Suzuki asks, my problem or myself who is sitting? And what is my problem by the way? Well, complicated but: being here, not being strong with certain individuals, and being apologetic for being myself… uhhh
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