So they are back...

So they are back, well most of them… the room is not so empty… I am happy to see especially certain faces…

Ohh yeah, this week had its dramas and incidents…. The last couple of days… yes in that room early morning. Yesterday one of my students fell on her nose while struggling with Buja Pindasana. I felt very responsible. I thought she could lift by herself, so I did not help her. I could have lifted her from the hips, instead, I told her what to do… I thought she was stronger than she is actually, I could have realized that she was not. Nothing serious happened, ice on the nose and then she wanted to continue. At the end of her practice, during shavasana, I did reiki to her. She left happy. I learned a good lesson: it is better to be on the cautious side. I guess this was all coming from thinking that I am not encouraging them to do more. All this other stuff is interfering… what stuff? don’t ask…

Then this morning… another thing. This is more about attitudes. One of them does not totally get the silence, and going within aspect of this practice…. She sometimes stops and begins engaging with what is going on with another who is next to her, or whom I am helping at the moment… so, I suddenly snapped today, I told her to mind her own business. Yes, I can sometimes be abruptly stern, not a great trade, I am aware. Well, later when I tried to help her with something she told me off. I really got red probably at that moment. Then, I had to just go on doing my job and then I sat and listened to myself. What do I feel, what do I want to do with this situation, what do I think? My first thoughts were to tell her that I cannot have her talking in the class, and when she is warned, her telling me off, so if we are going to have ego clashes here, better you do not come to my classes… yes, this was the first reaction of the mind. I kept sitting… and then I got out of the room when everyone finished. She was in shavasana and couple of more people also. When the others left, I went into the room; she was not in shavasana anymore but laying on her side. So, I sat beside her and touched her shoulder, then she said that she got hurt. I told her that she needs to practice to be concentrated in her own practice not to get all airy and get mixed up with others’ practices or whatever is going on around… I told her that she has a good practice, she works really hard to get the asanas she cannot manage and in short time, she manages them… this is all good, but besides the asana, we also need to go within, to not get distracted with everything so easily. I apologized from her for being so hard, and I needed to. Sometimes words come out without thinking and that is what happened, they just came out and of course I am a human too, so I do wrong as well… so I apologized and admitted that I could have told the same thing in much better way.

Being a teacher is the hardest and the most major trainings of all I guess. I realize that I am learning more than I could imagine. I am learning about relations, I am learning about myself, I am learning what happens when I compromise from myself, I am learning how to manage myself and others…

What else? Well I have been to a nutritionist with my mom’s insistence. That is another story. Briefly, I have to eat more protein. And I am doing a big effort now, it helps that she gave me some guidelines. Like Kathy the acupuncturist, she also told me that I need to eat legumes with rice like Indian people, then it is a complete protein source…