Ups and downs, and a lazy blogger...

I am being very lazy about blogging. I don’t know why? I have so much to write about actually… I have been going through ups and downs… I learned that my house will not be ready by the end of the year, so I began panicking and making many travel plans to avoid being cramped in my parent’s house longer… Then I decided to sublet a friend’s house who has a nice place in a nice area, but still keeping the travel plans, maybe not staying for 6 months in India but couple of months or so :)
How is practice? I feel like my practice kind of sucks. I am not getting any stronger, so I asked about this to Eric and he told me that I need to separate my elbows from my torso a bit during chaturangas... I was kind of taking strength by resting on my arms, I had no idea I was cheating... so I began practicing by separating my elbow, but it is so difficult, as if I am just a beginner... My shoulders, my arms, they are all sore… Now, my initial opinion of Mysore classes became a reality! I guess I mentioned this before, in the beginning I had no idea what Mysore classes meant, and I thought those classes in the schedule at Yoga Place were for people who were sore or injured… silly me… anyway… Therefore, my practice is given me hard time. Ohhh, I guess it is trying to tell me something, such as I need to do much more hard work to get where I want to...
Teaching is not going bad. There are few people who enjoy my teaching quite a lot. Actually, they are those three people whom I thought they were a bit awkward… See, you never know who will embrace you, or I never know... But the thing is they cannot believe I practice ashtanga, because I teach them a gentle class, I guess more of a Tias way. Does this mean that I am not being true to my own practice? I always go over what I am teaching that day… but what I question is, is it treachery to teach something else while owning another practice??? Well, maybe the adjustment clinic workshop with Nancy Gilgoff, which I will hopefully go to in September will help me. Yes, I applied for my visa to Germany yesterday and I feel that they will give me the Visa. God, they are though on us Turks… I got really frustrated and stressed about this Schengen Visa. They ask for so many things from one for a Visa while my sister, who was born in the US, does not need to do anything, she can just pick up and go wherever she wants to in Europe. Such discrimination… I actually had two missing documents, for one they made me go and get inhabitants document for my whole family from a Government office which was thankfully not so far. But why do they need such a thing about my whole family for a Visa I have no idea… The other thing was that the invitation letter from the yoga studio in Berlin was not valid; they were suppose to get a document from a Police Station in Germany… but the lady who was looking at my documents were nice enough to accept the letter that they have faxed from the studio… So, now I am waiting for my passport and then I can get my ticket for the flight to Berlin! If I do not get a visa, I will be only pissed for the 60 Euros, which they have taken for Visa fee, otherwise it means I was not meant to go to this workshop. But if I go, I hope to get as much as I can from Nancy. I hope it will set me straight at least regarding my own practice, especially after the TT, which confused me. I seem to be getting over that confusion though…
I am also planning to go to Italy at the end of October to do an Osho therapy group, Primal , so my sister will stop telling me that I should do that group every other day! I hope it will benefit me more than just getting my sister off my back because soon enough, she will be telling me to do something else like a mantra, it will not be a long term relief, thus I better get something more from doing this. ☺ .
Actually, beside all this sarcasm, I am sure this group will be very helpful for me. I decided that I should do it last January, when I was in Pune after doing Alchemy of Breath group. Ohh I cannot wait to go back to Pune! Hopefully after all these, around end of November, I will get myself to India!!!