Inconsistency...

When I read or listen to something, sometimes it just comes and goes… Therefore, since childhood, I had to write down things to understand, to learn, to think about, etc. I write things that make me wonder these days. Last week I was reading last pages of the long introduction to the Principle Upanishads. And among many, one took my attention more than the others, so I kept going back and rereading those lines… It was "The vulgar look for their gods in water, men of wider knowledge in celestial bodies, the ignorant in (images made of) wood or stone but the wise see the Supreme in their own self." Then I put this on face book and to be honest I thought that it might stir up something. And I was not wrong, someone got offended in a way I would not imagine; they thought this was arrogant and looking down to Pagan, Shamanic, Indigenous cultures… Ha! I never intended that… One thing is what I write does not necessarily represent me, or show what I believe in… With this quote, which is actually from Darsanopanisad, I was struck… And, in the next few lines it read “The yogins see the Supreme in the self, not in the images. The images are conceived for the sake of contemplation by the ignorant.” I thought about it for a week, I went back to it and reread it several times… And my first reaction was “but how, how, how do I see it in myself? I am not able to…” And then I thought about what one of my teachers would say, that one can use images to concentrate, to meditate but when one gets it, wakes up, then they drop the image, or the breath, or whatever was there to serve as a tool and then naturally, anyways everything becomes the Brahman… so I thought to myself, well if there is anyway for me, it will be the ignorant’s way (according to these line) in the beginning… Maybe I use the breath, not an image but I have to use something… Rereading these lines were reminding me that it is actually within whatever one is seeking outside… that the resource is inside, we sit on it as one sits on a treasure without being aware… However, it is not so easily graspable for some, and therefore one might have a need to put reminders, and also reminders not to get lost in what we use as a tool, not to get attached to it that we cannot let go of it when we need to…

I also think that unless one sees the divine inside it is not so possible to see the divine in other beings/things… Isn’t it always said that unless you love yourself you cannot love another; it seems very similar… And perhaps these indigenous, shamanic, and pagan cultures have much better connection with themselves and so their practices are not the practice of an ignorant… I studied a bit of Anthropology so I know how dangerous it can be to analyze other cultures from our own perspective, conditioning… how it can be patronizing. Surely I had no such intention and I really don’t know about them since I have never done a field study on such a culture…

But of course I see that I might need to be more careful with what I put out there… It is very open to be misunderstood… and also sometimes we are very prone to misunderstand each other because of preconceptions about each other. I am not trying to hurt anybody or criticize anybody… I am not a philosopher, nor an advanced meditater… I am not after a belief system and I can be inconsistent and I actually want to have the right to be inconsistent… nothing is really fixed…