I had my astro reading on Thursday and it was like a blow. Yes, he told me lots of good stuff as well but the main theme was the confusion which I am born into and that I am exactly in that same spot now due to my Saturn return, which actually does not end this month but ends in July 2008!!! He said the toughest part is over but the whole effect will end next year ☹ He told me that I need to make decision about what I want to do, where I want to live, all that… I panic now. I panic because I do not feel comfortable or confident with any of the decisions or I do not know how to make it a reality if I do make a certain decision… I know it all sounds confusing and heavy…well, this is the state of my being now, which I have to get out. He said that there is a lot of magic in my chart that is not activated and that I am acting like a pisces (moon in pisces) going with the flow instead of focusing. So, now I am panicking. I am panicking because if I do not get going it will get more difficult, I am panicking because I am afraid that I will make the wrong decision, etc…
Is there anyone else who panics after having an astrological reading and who gets depressed after a TT? Why am I unique in weirdest ways? I have to change my thinking patterns… Seriously… they certainly do not serve me.
By the way, practice is fine but I guess, the practice that I have to work on is in some other area than the one that I do at 6 am... It is to figure out how to prove myself to Saturn, to focus, to figure out who I am...
4 comments:
Oh, good old Saturn return. I officially categorize 29 as one of the toughest ever, but with the best long-standing results. As soon as I read this post (found you via ashtangi.net, btw) I checked your full profile, suspecting that you were a)29 and b) a virgo. Yup, and yup.
I've been there. I'm turning 31 in September - a fellow virgo - and I have to say that you're fine. You are exactly where one ends up at 29. And you're taking it like a true virgo - analyzing and putting an intense amount of responsibility on yourself to do it "right", which bring a lot of stress.
Worry about nothing, panic about nothing, but become very dedicated to what it is that's important to you. The deal with Saturn is that he puts you through the fire to burn off what isn't vital. He doesn't want to destroy you - he wants to strengthen your natural power and get rid of things that weaken you. Stick with it. You'll absolutely be okay. Trust yourself.
in a way i have the opposite reaction to astrology readings. but not necessarily because i do less thinking and freaking out. i know i will have to make many life decisions within a year or two. and lots of times i would like the answers *now*, even though i know that next week, next month, i'll revisit the same questions and probably come up with very different ideas. so the astrology helps me detach a bit from all the planning, changing, and wondering. i know that it's just part of the process, and it's not over yet, so i don't have to worry about not having a solid, clear and reliable picture at this point. and based on what your astrologer said, it sounds like the process won't be over soon for you either. so from that perspective, you don't have to worry about not being ready to make the decisions right now- things will happen in their own time. and if there's some stress in the meantime, the astrology (saturn etc) is a reminder that it's just a passing phase. it can help validate the experience and also make it easier to let go. my take, hth.
thanks asia,
I appreciate your advice, it is soothing... the way you explain saturn return makes it not scary... but kind of vital... :)
Well, the image I like for Saturn Return is that it is time to make your dreams reality. All the foundations you've created over the last 29 years are being tested. The good ones will become stronger, the weak ones will collapse. Anything that is not in your best interest will pass away.
Excellent time to practice. Don't bother taking a vacation..you probably wont really get a break.
I was divorced, remarried, living in a new country and speaking a new language by the time I was done.
Sorry if this is too much information. I couldn't resist jumping in because I am into astrology.
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