At last...

Ohh yeah I did it at last, went through a Chriz Chavez treatment this morning. The funny thing is that I didn’t have to think much. By this I mean the following: I was out last night until after 1AM (with my POL friends )which is something I rarely do and then I woke up at 10 past 10 AM which is something I rarely do and then I just threw myself out of the bed and out of the door to go to Chris Chavez’s Anusara Yoga class which is something I never do…! Well, I just had to experience this to get rid of the curiosity of C.C. about whom so many people has been talking about… Yeah, from the beginning till the end of the class what I feared happened, there was here and there “Maya this Maya that, Maya do this Maya do that" kept coming out of him. First, it was “ Maya, see that tattoo on your left shoulder how bright it is? I want your lips to be as bright as your tattoo, smile!!!!” then again, smile!… then spread the feet hip distance in uttanasana, tadasana (well I got that after two times). Then the first demonstration and who he picks is “MAYA! Come to down dog and throw your hips like a ball over your shoulders”!!! yeah exactly what I have been struggling over for year and a half! How does he picks on that is something to appreciate! And he made me do that for 5-6-7 times as Marci was doing during my last month in Goa. And then coming to hand stand… it was fine and then we worked with partners. Before the class began, I placed myself in a safe spot, next to Yigit who is one of the new graduates of the teacher training; I know him and like him, so it was good to be partners with him. As I practiced with Y jumping up with two legs, I realized that I am going forward enough to coming to handstands, whereas I always thought that I was way far away… At one point, Chris made us also do opening the legs and rotating them around and then lifting left hand first and then the right hand. Then, we went on with other stuff until coming to back bends…! With back bends a different approach with arms, he wants students to open the hands almost as wide as the mat. I go for hands as wide as my shoulders which is the way Marci teaches us. Then again he made me come up and then wanted me to drop back with open arms which I did… he thinks this way is more opening the heart but I do with arms up then reaching up and backwards and I think with arms floating on the sides would be a bit too much for a beginner and they can lend on top of their heads instead of their hands… then he again made me come up with floating arms on the side... that was alright for me. But he was not satisfied he said “she is already too open it was not as dramatic so I will show on someone else...” Therefore, with two other people he demonstrated, and one was this big basketball player and that did not look so great to me, he wants people to come to the toes, lifting the heels to come up which is exact opposite of what Marci wants you to do. She gets so mad when you lift the heels; as a result, I had to learn not throwing myself up and lifting the heels for which now I am grateful to Marci because much more stable way of coming up and stronger legs…

I can say he really makes people high, he knows good anatomy, he knows what he teaches very well, he is a good person… On the other hand, for me, his class was too much exposure and I am just out of ‘Path of Love’ for God’s sake… and then too much talking, pointing people out, too much yeah you can do it… and with the smiling thing… sorry but a bit giirrrr…. He went on most of the time with stuff like Maya is this and that, and I have been feeling just the opposite actually, very weak for the last week and he sees through this and so, he points out what you are struggling with right away but in an opposite light… However, I was uncomfortable with all the cheering because I know my ego would love, would totally love it but what I long for is not satisfying my ego but being me, just pure me with no illusions around it (ha! Wow! My sannyas name had to mean something; for the first time , now I see that this is perhaps why I became to be renamed as Maya...! I guess I should be thankful to Chris for showing me this)

Yet, I am happy that I went to his class, so now I know what it is like. And once in every six months or even once a year of Chriz Chaves seems enough for me ☺. I really love silent practice and this is not because I am super serious but because I need to internalize to get grounded. The main reason I practice is to be grounded to this world. And the most important point for me is being able to do something not when Chris is cheering and helping me but when I am alone, by myself, with my self-knowledge knowing that I can do it or discovering that I can do it and doing it. OF course I am not undermining his help, he shows people that their capacity is beyond what they believe it to be and that is really helpful… but for me, the bottom line is I gotta do it myself. And perhaps that is my weakest and strongest side; don’t like to ask for help, can’t ask for help and also trying to learn standing firm on my own feet…

P.S. I watched an interview with B.K.S Iyengar on Youtube yesterday. At the end, the interviewer asked if his ego was being pumped by being Mr. Iyengar, the person who had the biggest role in having yoga spread to the West, receiving so much recognition, respect, love... His answer was “I am grateful to God in Yoga, that they are punishing me, this way I am happy to get some injuries now and then so I become quiet. I am happy that something comes to me so I can devote my time more and more to my practice and be free from this egoistic cult” . His answer is a great teaching. I understand more and more… (I cannot post the interview here since I can get to youtube from sideways due to it is being banned by Turkish Government… )