from rawness to ripeness...

I think about relationships these days.  And as I do, I see how fearful I can become... However, suddenly I had this opportunity to stop which was during my visit to Tarcin the cat, who will pass away very soon :(.  As I was caressing her, I remembered one more time that we are borne to this life to die at one point, and the time between our birth and death is the time to discover who we are, to realize ourselves instead of trying to improve, fix, change what is already there...  Learning to relax into being ourselves, having the courage to unfold what is deep down.  I realized that there is no reason to be apologetic about myself, about having the potential of being a pain in the neck some of the times or whatever... because those are irrelevant to who I am, to who any person is.  The person who will be with me will choose to be with me for who is in there, not for some other image they have in mind.  and I shall be with someone for who they are not for any other reason.  What occurs is a big growing, learning, maturing process between the two.  No expectations to load on anyone since no one can fulfill those.  Yet there is always possibility to learn from each other, by looking with naked eyes to one another and experiencing the good and the bad in one another, by practicing patience to be with the other in hard times and enjoying the experience each person brings into the union... and no need to loose oneself in the other, because it is a union of two halves, not one taking over the other.  

There is one quote from the book I read about Rumi I keep remembering, it says that nobody can transcend from rawness to ripeness on their own... so I have to keep reminding this to myself; to engage with people to know myself and perhaps no matter how painful some of the relations on the way...  I am not scared, there is nothing to be scared of.  

Tarcin, the alpha cat will be gone.  We will never forget her, and I will ever be thankful to her for bringing me back home to myself, to now...  what is in the future we never know, but there is now I cannot miss...