Athena and I

Today I had to remember to stop like it would be perhaps with Gurdjieff… now I stop to see my mind and if it has anything to do with reality of now or if t is just bringing in old stuff out of the closets of my memory bank… 

I got a bit anxious yesterday… It began with “ohh I am being flaky with my commitments” and then this is followed with other judgments of the self, and then panicking about the future and finally trying to make a u turn from all this. After all, I slept and actually had a good dream, which began fading as soon as I woke up…  I just felt the pleasantness of the dream, and then I saw it just slipping by from the memory since it was so early in the morning…

Well, is there anything substantial with my fears… maybe yes, maybe no…  However, it does not matter, I just have to live this time, which is so limited and can be so eternal… Life is presenting a gift maybe and I can miss it if I go round and round and confuse myself.  Last night, before I went to bed, I realized that I am not the person I was before, and if anything now, I can stop and see things a bit more clearly perhaps and practice to refine…  and no need to expect to be perfect, not to expect anybody to be perfect, or just to realize it is perfect as it is, me, the other, and others and everything else…   Practicing not getting lost on the way; keep waking up to now.  And remembering I will not be the same person tomorrow either, while Athena will be in Pergamom museum for a while longer looking as gorgeous as before where she represents a bit of the eternal in all... some dichotomy to think about :)