sometimes it is all about softness

There is a lot that I think about these days…  and some of it is related to softness…  I know I lost some of my softness on the way, trying to have it all together while I travel or had to face difficult situations, to not to panic, not to feel desperate, not to be taken advantage of, not to seem lost, not to feel vulnerable… so somethings are calcified.  However, now I think that too of a strong hold could be a barrier to the actual strength we have, and to the experiences that life is offering us…  I guess at times, one has to be vulnerable… Like the time I told my friend how I was hurt with all that happened, when I could accept my vulnerability, to the point of sharing with the other. Then I was so free from it latter on…  I was true to myself and to the others, I could not fake all was alright at a time when all felt bitter…  I had to trust that I could handle it no matter what the reactions could be and at the end of it all, I just felt  soft, open and very human with all the imperfections…  I need to remind myself this experience of last fall.  

Yesterday, I realized I also need this softness in my practice; the strength is not necessarily coming from hardness of my muscles, it is like my sweet friend Claire told me while we were waiting our planes at Bangalore airport, it comes from a soft smile, from a soft space within… to much holding of my muscles is actually stopping me to use the strength I have…  it was very interesting to discover…